The Slider
5:23pm, February 24, 2003
[Edit]
[Delete] | *cheap 'commercial' music plays, until it reveals Slider, standing out ontop of a nondescript metal platform, facing the dune sea(nowhere near the Blue Heaven, though)*
Greetings!
Allow me introduce ourselves *he motions, the camera panning over to a cardboard cutout of both Leon and Saint* We are the Full Metal Jackals/The Desert Forge. Don't let my, uh...*glances at the cardboard cutouts* compatriots fool you! We have a 24/7 comm line set up just for your needs, and those things aren't cheap! *comm frequency flashes by*
Now, here's why you should call this frequency!
- If you want something done...something which I'm sure the right people will know what I'm talking about. OR, even something that someone 'up there' doesn't want to send precious troops out for...we're your people.
- And this doesn't mean, say, just some lame-ass "Example: assassination" type of thing. We mean anything from Bounty Hunting, to spying on your cheating spouse, to attacking complex military platforms with giant mechanized robots. We're extremly versitile!
- Yes, Robots. Giant Honkin' Robots. Because, who doens't like Giant Honkin' Robots? And whats going to beat a tank? A far larger, far more mobile walking one.
- Which leads us to our next great and fabulous selling point! We elite band of mercenarialic free agents, don't just shoot things, oh no. As stated, we go the step up and investigate, so we know what we're doing. But that's not it, either. We here are also known as The Desert Forge! *Saint's cardboard cutout falls over* uh...well, we are...
- This means that we are also on call for ship building orders. DOn't ask how and don't ask why, but we can and will design, construct, and even paint custom starships, for you! And not just starships! Fighters, Mechs, the whole frellin' deal!
- Reasonable, if not rock-bottom cheap, prices!
- Call now, and get this free Coffee Mug and balloon for the kids!
One last thing I'd like to call to you, the humble customers attention, is that we are a group devoid of exterior politics. We work exclusively for the money. Anyone can hire us, and by that I do mean anyone.
If we fail, or for other reasons turn down the job ("yeah, I'll give you 2500 credits to take your ship into the sun!"), you get a full, 110% money back gaurantee!
that's right, 110%! That's a whole extra ten percent!
*small print* Guarantee void if you're paying us to kill ourselves similiar to above example.
*that comm frequency flashes by once more* And don't be a stranger! If you see us, and we don't look like we're on a job, come and talk! Maybe we'll buy you a beer at that cantina!
Edited 6:25pm, February 24 by The Slider, author. |
