Thread for Stoopid Stuff Index | New Thread | Reply | Close | Stick | Delete  Stoopid Stuff Bulldawg 4:03pm, August 17, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Despite educational campains by woman's groups, abt one-fourth of girls in Cameroon still undergo ritual "breast-ironing" at puberty as their families attempt to squash their developing bosoms to make them sexually unattractive to boys and reduce their temptation to marry. The most popular "ironing" instrumentis a heated wooden pestle, mashed painfully against the chest. Some girls are ok w/ the practice, however, like the one who told BBC News that she just "wanted to (stay in) school like other girls who had no breasts." dawg *wonders* if they grow back later... :-/  Shit faced? Bulldawg 12:08am, August 18, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] In July 2006, a dairy owner in Fresno County, CA, was pinned by his tractor in a manure pit. A very short bowel program story. :-|   Edzz 5:43pm, August 19, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Man choses operation August 19, 2006 - 7:44PM An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said on Saturday. The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said. "Two fully functional penes is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying. The surgery was expected to be challenging as both organs were well-formed and full blood supply to the retained penis had to be ensured to allow it to function normally, he added. The newspaper did not disclose the identity of the man or the hospital to protect the patient's privacy. There are about 100 such reported cases of diphallus around the world and it is known to occur among one in 5.5 million men, the newspaper said. It is caused by the failure of the mesodermal bands in the embryo to fuse properly. The mesodermal bands are one of three primary layers of the embryo from which several body parts are formed. Edited 10:46am, September 10, 2006 by Edzz, author.   Edzz 6:02pm, August 19, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Christian sex toy shop. http://www.wired.com/news/columns/0,71612-0.html?tw=rss.culture I can just hear it now.. "For the love of God, take those beads out of my..."   Bulldawg 5:55pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] That case of diphallus in India that Ed submitted the story concerning, 'doubled' me over in snickers (ok, laughter) :-D Two erections at once? and he wanted a schlonger amputation? Just think of the possibilities...other than being a sex sideshow act? You'd think he'd have women from miles around where he lived, men too, if he was gay or bisexual. Start a well designed web site on the major search engines and he could've been rich but very tired! ugh...... It was a good thing that he had 2 hands while he had them. ;-) Double the pleasure, double the fun. lol Did he need 2 urinals? 2 scrotums or 1? 2 testicals or 4? Uh........maybe I found Ed's submission a bit too (2) amusing. :-)   Edzz 7:09pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] I wonder what his bride-to-be thinks of his decision? lmao Nobody's asking for her opinion. Twenty bucks says she dumps him before they marry. Ed :)  Stand back, or the frozen mudslide gets it, praise Allah! Edzz 7:24pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Man claiming to be terrorist leads police on high speed chase By Jay Hodgkins Staff Writer OCEAN CITY — A West Virginia man claiming he was Osama Bin Laden led police on a high speed chase before he ultimately crashed into other vehicles, police said. The terrorist act of choice for Tena Bergeno, 26, of Charleston, W.Va., was threatening by drink blender, according to reports. Bergeno brandished a blender at police on Coastal Highway near 37th Street at the end of a high speed car chase today at around 10 a.m., police said. The story started Monday when Bergeno claimed he was Osama Bin Laden to a police officer, which the officer responded to by having him evaluated at Atlantic General Hospital. Bergeno was eventually released, according to reports. Police said Bergeno was acting strangely at 9:45 a.m. Wednesday morning, and he jumped into a car at First Street and sped off when police tried to stop him. Bergeno ran a red light at Second Street, almost hitting two cars, then plowed through three cars at a red light at 36th Street before his car became disabled and police surrounded him, according to reports. After disarming Bergeno of his blender, the suspect was charged with fleeing and eluding, hit and run, second-degree assault and minor traffic charges, police said. Bergeno is currently at Peninsula Regional Medical Center undergoing psychiatric evaluation, police said.  Cyborg woman sues, needs a BIG tin hat Edzz 7:39pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Conspiracy A recent federal court decision, in the District Court for the Southern District of New York (reported on Westlaw), 1993 WL 454256. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teri Smith TYLER, Plaintiff, v. James CARTER, William Clinton, Ross Perot, American Cyanamid, Iron Mountain Security Corporation, Defense Intelligence Agencty, IBM, David Rockerfeller [sic], Rockerfeller [sic] Fund, BCCI, NASA, Defendants. No. 92 Civ. 8658 (CSH) Nov. 5, 1993 BACKGROUND Plaintiff Teri Smith Tyler, appearing pro se, filed a complaint in December 1992 alleging a bizarre conspiracy involving the defendants to enslave and oppress certain segments of our society. Plaintiff contends she is a cyborg, and that she received most of the information which forms the basis for her complaint, through ``proteus,'' which I read to be come silent, telepathic form of communication. ... She asserts that the defendants are involved in the ``Iron Mountain Plan,'' which provides for the reinstitutionalization of slavery and ``bloodsports'' (which she identifies as death-hunting and witchhunting), and the oppression of political dissidents, herself included. Plaintiff's complaint alleged a number of personal indignities visited upon her by defendants: ``strafing of my dormitory room by planes and helicopters, the electronic bugging of my student rooms and apartments, deliberate noise harassment, blasting of loud rock music with lyrics designed for witch-hunts (music about social pariahs) ... students following me around to prevent me from studying, whispering campaigns and social ostrification ...'' ... Plaintiff also makes the following allegations against the defendants. Former President Jimmy Carter was the secret head of the Ku Klux Klan; Bill Clinton is the biological son of Jimmy Carter; President Clinton and Ross Perot have made fortunes in the death-hunting industry, and are responsible for the murder of at least 10 million black women in concentration camps, their bodies sold for meat and their skin turned into leather products. The defendants are also responsible for breeding farms, which turn out 2,000 black girls a year, who are then sold for recreational murder or as human pets. Additionally, the defendants utilize weather control and earthquake technology to threaten other countries that object to the Iron Mountain Plan. Plaintiff asks the Court to grant her the following relief: $5.6 billion in compensatory and punitive damages; A physical accounting of all black women born since 1940, including their present, whereabouts, and for those who have died, an investigation into how they died; The purchase of land in Africa for the emigration of abused black women; The bringing to justice of those responsible for the American holocaust; An investigation into the foster care system, and a physical accounting of all black children placed into foster care; An end to slavery in the United States; The end of the cyborg program run by NASA, the Defense Intelligence Agency, American Cyanamid and IBM; An end to the organ donor program While plaintiff was trying to effect proper service of the summons and complaint on the defendants, she made a number of appeals to the Court for interim relief in the form of Orders to Show Cause. On January 20, 1993, she asked the Court to enjoin the inauguration of President Clinton. The Court denied her request as moot. In August, 1993, she moved to enjoin the installation of Louis Freeh as Director of the FBI on the ground that Clinton appointed Freeh only so Freeh could cover up evidence of Clinton's wrongdoing. That motion was denied, as it lacked a sufficient evidentiary basis. Presently before the Court is an Order to Show Cause why the Court should not enjoin the trial in the World Trade Center bombing case, now proceeding in this Court before Judge Duffy. Plaintiff alleges that President Clinton ordered the bombing of the World Trade Center in order to justify war with Iraq. In support of her application, plaintiff describes certain ``proteus'' communications she had with other individuals. Plaintiff alleges that the United States invaded Panama and arrested General Noriega because Noriega objected to United States soldiers raiding Indian tribes in Central America for child sex slaves to torture in American cocaine based thrill-killing rackets. Plaintiff contends she wrote to Noriega asking him to join in her lawsuit, but that United States soldiers holding Noriega beat him when he asked for his mail. Plaintiff asserts that in 1988, Rajiv Gandshi spoke to her through ``proteus'' and informed her that he was being held prisoner and sexually abused by a man whom he had caught stealing from the funds generated by the Bhopal disaster settlement. According to plaintiff, Yasser Arafat tried to confirm Ghandi's tale of abuse on behalf of the plaintiff, to no avail. Plaintiff additionally contends that Gulf War against Iraq was undertaken so that American could restock its sexual slavery camps, which had been depleted. 40,000 Iraqi soldiers captured by the United States, selected for their physical attractiveness, have been brought to this country where they were ``being beaten, forced to run gauntlets and homosexually gang-raped by American soldiers.'' Plaintiff claims to have confronted Secretary of Defense Cheney with evidence of this allegation. Cheney, through ``proteus,'' purportedly told the plaintiff, ``Well, we were so sick and tiered of killing black girls. We just had to put some variety back into our death-hunting industry. And they [Persians] are incredibly beautiful. The beauty of the face heightens the pleasure of the kill. I know of no higher pleasure than the gang-rape of exceedingly beautiful people.'' Additionally, the plaintiff alleges that the Serbian government, the ``Nazi Bund,'' the Bank of Commerce and Credit International (``BCCI'') are also involved in the conspiracy. Attached to plaintiff's papers, and apparently offered to support her claim, are a number of exhibits. Most prominent among the exhibits is a book by Robert Ellis Smith entitled ``Privacy: How To Protect What's Left Of It'' (1979), and a four page illustrated pamphlet advertising pornographic movies starring young men. Plaintiff has circled a number of photos of naked men who appear to be of Mediterranean or Latin American descent, which I interpret as her evidence that Iraqi and Central American men are enslaved in pornographic ``rackets'' ...  Gary & Amber? :D Edzz 8:01pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Nurses, firemen dominate fantasies: poll From correspondents in London August 23, 2006 07:40am NURSES and firemen dominate the sexual fantasies of men and women in Britain with politicians and traffic wardens ranking near the bottom, according to a poll published today. Some 47 per cent of women fantasise about firefighters, while almost 54 per cent of men dream about women dressed in a nurse's uniform. By contrast, only 1.7 per cent of women confessed to having fantasies about politicians, while 6.5 per cent of men fantasise about traffic wardens. Firemen are followed by soldiers, populating the dreams of 28 per cent of women, businessmen (27 per cent), doctors (26 per cent), and footballers (20 per cent). At the bottom of the list of women's sexual fantasies were milkmen, only in 0.8 per cent of women's dreams. Men, who were more comfortable confessing to sexual fantasies, dreamed about nurses, maids (44 per cent), and air hostesses (40 per cent). While a greater proportion of women fantasised about same sex relationships - 23.5 per cent compared to 5.3 per cent of men - men were more likely to dream about threesomes (55 per cent versus 31 per cent of women) Some 40 per cent of men and women also fantasised about sex with a celebrity. The survey questioned 1818 people above the age of 16 and was carried out by Budget Van Insurance.   Edzz 8:15pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] http://www.videovat.com/videos/1274/the-flintstones-smoking-commercial.aspx Here's a Winston commercial from (guessing) the 1960's. I smoked Winston's in high school. (it was cool to smoke back then) I smoked a lot of stuff in high school, actually. lol And I probably smoked some "stuff" - then skipped school, went to someone's house, and watched the Flintstones with them... having intense discussions about the 'stones and their caveman lifestyle. :D   Denny 10:57pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Ed...Betty or Wilma??? Re the fireman fantasy...it's the hose they use to put out the "fire" Edited 6:03pm, August 24, 2006 by Denny, author.   Bulldawg 11:24pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Ed, I must be very low on the "fantasizer" scale...I fantasize abt women who clean zoos for a living. ;-D "Zoo Pooers" Gary  Not Stoopid, Just Kinda Odd... Bulldawg 11:33pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Home prices and values continue to rise in southern FL despite the past 2 yrs of terrible hurricanes. I think I heard that factoid on ABC News. I'm sorry Craig. :-( Gary  Pluto's there...Pluto's gone. Bulldawg 11:52pm, August 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] It's in all the news today...Astronomy Geeks decided that Pluto is off the planetary list. It's just too small to be concerned abt. (Insert jokes here. (-: ) I remember sitting in high school, yeah, high school, fantasizing abt Plutonium women dressed like Betty and Wilma firehosing out zoo enclosures while smoking Winstons.......where the hell was I going w/ this? ;-) uhhh.........Gary?  Stoopid but sad...... Bulldawg 8:34pm, September 07, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] ST CHARLES COUNTY, Mo. (MCT)--A woman was found guilty Wednesday of hitting another woman over the head with a dead Chihuahua puppy. She could get up to 18 months in jail. The trial featured X-rays of the dead dog, a detective's pictures of the dog, and testimony from the woman who said she was hit over the head repeatedly with the dog. Lisa Hopfer, 34, was found guilty of third-degree assault and trespassing on Wednesday afternoon. She is to be sentenced Sept. 25. The incident happened at Linda Hulsey's home on June 7, a few days after Hopfer bought the puppy from her. Sometime during the night, the dog had died and Hopfer was upset. dawg's view on this story: Lisa (figures...lol) Hopfer should get every day of that 18 month sentence tied naked to the floor w/ grouchy/grumpy chihuahuas nipping at her delicate regions. All Crip Crypt board readers/dog lovers should Email Lisa Hopfer w/ our nasty comments! A big sorry to Johnboy and anty for my submission of this news story...I too understand your pain.  Back To School Special? Edzz 3:52pm, September 10, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Columbia police: Schoolteacher charged with performing lewd act on 14-year-old boy (Columbia) September 8, 2006 - A 45-year-old woman was charged with performing a lewd act on a child under 16 after Columbia police found her and a 14-year-old boy in a parked car on a dead-end street. Police say Kimberly Moody Alexander, of Columbia, was arrested Thursday. She is a teacher at Bradley Elementary School in Richland District One. According to the school's website, Alexander is a second grade teacher there. A post Alexander wrote on the school website says she's married with two children and has taught in Richland One for 18 years. Columbia police Sergeant Florence McCants says Alexander came to Belasco Street near Two Notch Road and Forest Acres after school Thursday. The secluded spot has a reputation as a lover's lane. A police officer on patrol came down the street around 4:30 Thursday afternoon. He said he saw a parked car at the end of the street. Inside, he said he say the teacher and a 14-year-old boy. McCants tells WIS, "When he walked up what he observed was the act of a simulated sex act. They were fully clothed, but the suspect was lying on her back - the child on top - simulating a sex act." "He knocked on the window and asked them to step out." Officers say Alexander was a friend of the boy's family. They say the boy goes to school in Richland One, but it's unclear if he has ever been Alexander's student. McCants explains, "The victim is not having an easy time talking - does not have the life experience. We're talking with him." The school district says Alexander is still an employee. They will not say if there is any disciplinary action against her, saying it's a personnel matter. The State Law Enforcement Division says Alexander does not have any other arrests on file in South Carolina. Her bond was set at $25,000.  Jailin' pants do him in Edzz 4:08pm, September 10, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Sep 9, 2006 3:14 pm US/Pacific 'Sagging' Pants Trip Up Salinas Suspect's Escape (AP) SALINAS Police say a fleet footed suspect's escape attempt was foiled when the man's baggy pants fell to his ankles and tripped him up. The California Highway Patrol says 37-year-old Johnny Camel tried to run from police after a traffic stop in Salinas early yesterday. But police say Camel was wearing jeans that were about four sizes too big. Police say Camel also wasn't wearing underwear under the loose jeans. The CHP says an increasing number of pursuits are ending quickly because suspects can't run and hold their pants up at the same time. Police say Camel is on parole after a recent release from prison. A conviction of resisting arrest could send him back to jail. Edited 11:16am, September 10, 2006 by Edzz, author.   Bulldawg 4:09pm, September 10, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Dressed and simulated? Where's the fun in that? sick dawg  I made a mistake, 119 times? Edzz 4:14pm, September 10, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] 9 September 2006 VICAR: MY KID PORN MISTAKES By Richard Smith A MARRIED vicar hooked on filth claimed yesterday he downloaded child porn by mistake. Richard Thomas, who was warned by a judge he could face jail, was caught with 119 images of children on his home computer. They carried titles such as "hotf***14-year-old" and "youngkidboys". Some were vilely indecent. Thomas, a 56-year-old dad and former key adviser to the Bishop of Oxford, admitted outside court that he was addicted to adult porn. But he claimed he downloaded the child images "inadvertently". As this could not be proved, he said, it was "responsible" to plead guilty. The pictures were found by police who raided the cleric's home in Abingdon, Oxon. Detectives were tipped off by Finnish investigators who discovered his internet address among a list of those using a chat page to download porn. Thomas admitted 10 counts of making child porn and two of possessing it after originally denying the crime. He was bailed at Oxford crown court for sentencing next month. Thomas, ex-Director of Communication for Oxford Diocese, was suspended from his job last year. A decision about his future will be made after sentencing. The acting Bishop of Oxford, the Rt Rev Colin Fletcher, said: "We're saddened at the conviction. We expect high standards of conduct in our staff."  If it feels good...just do it? Bulldawg 3:24pm, September 12, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] According to a Los Angeles Times report: In August 2006, in Denver CO, The Christian Retail Show featured hundreds of "Christian" versions of products and services, such as sweatbands, pajamas, dolls, health clubs, insurance agencies, tree trimmers and fragrances ("Virtuous Woman" perfume). One Retail Show visitor, though, was dismayed at the efforts to just "slap Jesus on (merchandise)." (Among the tougher sells would appear to be Book22.com, a Christian sex-toy Web site that sells condoms, vibrators and lubricants to married couples, but stocks no pornography or toys that encourage multiple partner scenes.)  "This individual or parent did not think it through." Ya think? Edzz 11:56pm, September 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Sports group stops raffle with gun prize Associated Press WEAVERVILLE, N.C. - A youth athletic association stopped the sale of raffle tickets for an Uzi submachine gun after parents complained that the tickets were being sold at a concession stand. Gary Chandler, commissioner of the North Buncombe Youth Athletic Association, said his group didn't approve the raffle tickets, which were sold Saturday during football practice at North Buncombe Park. "It was a parent who was doing soliciting out in the community," Chandler said. "This individual or parent did not think it through." With a few exceptions, it is illegal to possess a machine gun.  Lawrence, Massachusetts? This story does not shock me 1 bit. Edzz 11:59pm, September 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Boxes Of Cocaine Left Behind In Rental Van $120,000 Found In Methuen Home (CBS4) LAWRENCE Police in Lawrence arrested two people following the discovery of more than $1 million in cocaine in a rental van. Investigators found even more cocaine in a Methuen home along with $120,000. Workers at a car rental agency found the drugs inside two liquor boxes in the back of the van on Tuesday morning. The cocaine was covered in transmission fluid to mask the scent. The van was rented to 30-year-old Nicole Paquette of Haverhill. A detective posed as a car rental employee, called Paquette and told her to come pick up the boxes. Paquette arrived at the store at short time later and was arrested. Police also arrested 44-year-old Angel Ayala, of Philadelphia, at a home in Methuen. Inside the home they found another $1.5 million in cocaine and $120,000 cash. Paquette and Ayala were scheduled to be arraigned Wednesday in Lawrence District Court.  Remember those "Father Innme" jokes? Edzz 12:03am, September 14, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Nun tried to kill priest after finding him in bed with another woman Last updated at 15:55pm on 13th September 2006 A jealous nun appeared in court charged with threats to kill and an arson attack on a priest's house - after she caught him in bed with a married woman. Sister Silvia Gomes De Sousa, 39, saw red and set fire to Father Carmelo Mantarro's house after she nabbed him 'in flagrante.' The furious nun - who was also Father Carmelo's cleaner - was also armed with a machete and threatened to kill the priest before being restrained by passers by. Police and fire officials were quickly on the scene and managed to put out the flames which had been started by sister De Sousa using matches and candles on curtains and furniture. The drama happened in the sleepy Italian village of Roccalumera near Messina on the island of Sicily and was the talk of the nation as it dominated TV and radio news programmes. The saucy goings on were made even more interesting by father Carmelo's age - he is 70 years old - and is said to have been sleeping with both sister De Sousa and the other woman for several months. At the court hearing Sister De Sousa also claimed to have had two abortions as a result of having unprotected sex with Father Carmelo and also showed several love letters from him. She told the hearing: "I just flipped when I came to the house and caught him in bed with another woman who is married. "We had been together four years and I had even had two abortions because of him." Judge Antonino Giacobello freed sister De Sousa - who is accused of threats to kill and arson - on bail and adjourned the case until next month.  9 days later... Edzz 10:31pm, September 14, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] ATM reprogrammed to deliver more cash September 13, 2006 VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. --Police were looking for a man who reprogrammed a gas station ATM to give out four times as much money as it should. Surveillance footage shows a man walking into the gas station at 6:17 p.m. on Aug. 19, swiping an ATM card and punching in a series of numbers, breaking the machine's security code. The automated teller machine was reprogrammed to disburse $20 bills but record it was a $5 debit to his account, Virginia Beach Police spokeswoman Rene Ball said. He returned a short time later and took out more money, but authorities did not say how much. The card was prepaid and can be purchased at several locations, so police are not sure who is behind the theft. No one noticed until nine days later, when a customer told the clerk that the machine was giving out more money than it should. Police are investigating the incident as fraud.  All pumped up! Edzz 10:34pm, September 14, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] All charges dropped in penis pump case September 13, 2006 CHICAGO --Prosecutors dropped all charges Wednesday against a man who claimed an airport security guard misheard him when she thought he'd said a sexual device in his backpack actually was a bomb. Amin, who appeared in a Cook County circuit court Wednesday morning, has said he actually told the female security guard at O'Hare International Airport last month that the small, black object was a "pump" -- as in a penis pump. Prosecutors chose to follow the lead of the Transportation Safety Administration, which recently concluded that the matter did not warrant prosecution, said Cook County state's attorney spokesman John Gorman. Amin, 29, of Skokie, had been charged with felony disorderly conduct and faced up to three years in prison if convicted. His attorney, Eileen O'Neill-Burke, did not immediately return a message Wednesday seeking comment. She explained earlier that her client was embarrassed to explain the object to the security guard in front of his mother, who was traveling with him -- so he whispered. The guard misunderstood, and thought he had said "bomb," O'Neill-Burke said. The attorney added that Amin, an Iraqi, has a thick accent and she herself had trouble understanding him until he brought the pump to her office. She said she recently learned Arabic speakers sometimes have trouble distinguishing "p" and "b" sounds.   Bulldawg 3:13pm, September 15, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] lmao...maybe Amin was considering a sex-change operation and was preparing for a limp biskit?  More dildo news Edzz 3:17pm, September 15, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Woman pleads guilty in fake penis case September 15, 2006 MCKEESPORT, Pa. --A woman pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in connection with a bizarre incident in February that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store. Creighton, 41, of Wilkinsburg, entered the plea Wednesday, and authorities dropped the same charge against Vincent Bostic, 31, of Pittsburgh, who has agreed to help pay $425 to replace the store's microwave, police and the couple's defense attorney said. Police in McKeesport, about 10 miles east of Pittsburgh, said the Feb. 23 incident began when Bostic filled a fake penis with his urine that they said Creighton planned to use to pass a drug test to get a job. The two stopped at a GetGo! convenience store and, after wrapping the device in a paper towel, asked a store clerk to heat it up in a microwave, police said. Authorities said they believe Creighton wanted the device heated so the urine inside would be at body temperature during the drug test. The clerk, however, believing the lifelike device to be a severed penis, called police. Defense attorney William Difenderfer said Creighton faces a maximum punishment of $300 and 90 days in jail when she is sentenced Nov. 15 by McKeesport District Judge Doug Reed. Difenderfer called it "a humorous, but weird, case."   Bulldawg 3:19pm, September 15, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] I read it too quickly, she is he...........okayyyyyyyyyy, maybe HE alreadys has Erictile Dysfunction aka limp biskit.   Bulldawg 3:24pm, September 15, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] they can just toss that microwave..........ewwwwwwww   Edzz 9:38pm, September 15, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] It's really bizarre, lmao. WTF were these people thinking? First, the obvious question: Why not store the urine in a jar? WTF was the dildo supposed to accomplish anyway? Was this guy actually planning on whipping out a rubber dick for his drug test? Who's administering this test that he planned on fooling, Mr. Magoo? Next, I want to know why the clerk would even think a customer would want to heat up a severed penis is a microwave in the first place? Couldn't s/he tell it was fake? I mean, c'mon now, as real as some look - they aren't all that real, lmao. Hopefully nobody is that sheltered, to be fooled by a rubber dong, lol. What in God's name did s/he think the customer was planning on doing with a warmed up severed penis, eat it? The more you think about it, the weirder it gets... lmao.  I think that it's time to stop driving and take the bus. Edzz 12:24am, September 18, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Women Trapped In Car Two elderly women are recovering from heat stroke and heat exhaustion after locking themselves in a hot car in Daytona Beach. Police say their battery apparently died, the automatic locks failed, and they didn't know they could unlock the doors manually. The women were trapped for nearly two hours before a passerby spotted their plea for help, which they wrote on the back of a tissue box. Rescue workers smashed a window to get the ladies out. For more information tune to Central Florida News 13  A peaceful reaction from "the religion of peace". Edzz 12:29am, September 18, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Pope Benedict said on Sunday he was deeply sorry Muslims had been offended by his use of a medieval quotation on Islam and violence, saying the ideas did not reflect his personal views. However, some Islamic groups said the Pope had to go further in retracting the remarks. The head of the world's 1.1 billion Roman Catholics stopped short of the full apology or retraction demanded by some Muslims for a speech they say portrayed Islam as tainted by violence. Some hardline Muslim groups said they were not satisfied. "In Hamas we do not view the statement attributed to the Pope as an apology," said Sami Abu Zuhri, spokesman for the militant group which controls the Palestinian government. The deputy leader of Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood, Mohammed Habib, initially called it "a sufficient apology," but later said: "It does not rise to the level of a clear apology and, based on this, we're calling on the Pope of the Vatican to issue a clear apology that will decisively end any confusion." Before the Pope spoke, there had already been a protest on Sunday in Iran and attacks on churches in the West Bank. In Somalia, an Italian nun was killed in an attack one Islamist source said could be linked to the crisis. "I am deeply sorry for the reactions in some countries to a few passages of my address at the University of Regensburg, which were considered offensive to the sensibility of Muslims," the Pope told pilgrims at his Castelgandolfo summer residence. "These in fact were a quotation from a medieval text, which do not in any way express my personal thought," he said at his weekly Angelus prayer. "I hope this serves to appease hearts and to clarify the true meaning of my address, which in its totality was and is an invitation to frank and sincere dialogue, with mutual respect." The German-born Pope was interrupted by applause from the pilgrims at Castelgandolfo, in the hills outside Rome. But he faces the worst crisis since, as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, he was elected Pope in April last year. His comments followed a Vatican statement on Saturday attempting to clarify the meaning of the academic speech made in Germany on Tuesday. The heads of Muslim countries have expressed dismay at what they see as offensive comments and religious leaders have called it the start of a new Christian crusade against Islam. Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi hoped the death of a nun working at a Mogadishu children's hospital was "an isolated event." The order to which the nun belonged said there was no evidence to suspect it was related to the Pope crisis. "ON HIS KNEES" In the speech, the Pope, a former theology professor and enforcer of Vatican dogma, referred to criticism of the Prophet Mohammad by 14th century Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Palaeologus. The emperor said everything the Prophet Mohammad brought was evil "such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel and politicians in Italy rushed to Benedict's defense, saying he had been misunderstood and had really being making an appeal for dialogue. But angry Muslim leaders flung what they saw as allegations of violence back at the West, referring to the medieval crusades against Islam and to the U.S.-led wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which have fanned the flames of Muslim resentment. In Iran, about 500 theological school students protested in the holy city of Qom on Sunday and hardline cleric Ahmad Khatami warned that if the Pope did not apologize, "Muslims' outcry will continue until he fully regrets his remarks." "The Pope should fall on his knees in front of a senior Muslim cleric and try to understand Islam," Khatami said. One al Qaeda umbrella group in Iraq, the Mujahideen Shura Council, threatened in an unauthenticated Internet statement to "break the cross and spill the wine" in revenge, referring to Christian symbols and sacraments. Some Muslims were mollified. The head of Turkey's religious affairs directorate welcomed the statement from the Vatican on Saturday. Ali Bardakoglu had previously called the Pope's comments "extremely regrettable." The uproar had raised questions about whether a papal visit to Turkey in November could go ahead, but the government, while calling his remarks "ugly," there were no plans to call it off. The Muslim Council of Britain said the Pope's expression of regret was "exactly the reassurance many Muslims were looking for that, although he quoted them, he himself did not agree with the opinions of that Christian emperor." The Council "unequivocally condemned" those manipulating the controversy and hoped the nun's killers were brought to justice. The church has officially encouraged dialogue with Islam and other non-Christian faiths since the Second Vatican Council that ended in 1965. Benedict has sought dialogue with Islam -- but he also stresses Europe's Christian roots and, before elected, said he opposed mainly Muslim Turkey joining the European Union. He may have come closer than any modern-day pope to saying sorry in public for something he has said. His predecessor John Paul II made public apologies for the church's historic errors, such as the Inquisition and its failings in World War Two.  Go fly a kite? Edzz 12:34am, September 18, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Man killed in kite accident fall A 30-year-old man from Gloucestershire has died after falling 50ft (15m) down a cliff while flying a kite in Devon. The accident happened in the South Hams when the man accidentally stepped backwards over the cliff at Blackstone Point, Noss Mayo, coastguards said. A rescue helicopter airlifted the man to Derriford Hospital in Plymouth, but he was declared dead on arrival. Coastguards urged people to stay away from cliff edges because it was easy to misjudge distances. Family holiday Coastguards said the man, from Tewkesbury, was on holiday with his family, including his pregnant fiancee. Coastguards received a 999 call at about 1130 BST from a member of the public. The rescue helicopter was sent from RNAS Culdrose with a doctor on board and arrived at the scene about 30 minutes later. People in the area tried administering CPR after the man fell. The treatment was continued on the helicopter as the man was taken to Derriford. Brixham Coastguard watch manager Sean Brooks said: "The man was flying his kite 200 yards from the coastal cliff path when the accident happened. "We would always recommend that people stay away from cliff edges. They can be slippery when wet and are sometimes unstable. "It can also be easy to misjudge distances, especially when you are engaged in other activities." Coastguards said it was a "very saddening accident".  Well beyond bizarre. In fact, go down to bizarre and turn left. Sick beyond belief. Edzz 12:40am, September 18, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Charges dropped in Wis. necrophilia case Sat Sep 16, 7:24 AM ET LANCASTER, Wis. - A judge on Friday dismissed charges of attempted sexual assault against three men accused of trying to dig up a woman's body to have sex with the corpse, noting that Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia. The men still face lesser charges. Twins Nicholas and Alexander Grunke, 20, and Dustin Radke, 20, were arrested after an alleged attempt to dig up the body of a 20-year-old woman who was killed Aug. 27 in a motorcycle crash. Officials said a caller reported suspicious activity in the cemetery Sept. 2, and deputies found someone had dug down to her vault. Authorities said the three were not acquainted with the woman but had seen an obituary with her photo. Circuit Judge George Curry said that while there was no law that addressed necrophilia, there was enough evidence to continue the case because of criminal damage to property and the alleged attempt to break into a burial vault. Edited 7:41pm, September 17, 2006 by Edzz, author.  It's The Long Winters, eh.... Denny 1:26am, September 18, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Remember, this is the same state that gave the world Ed Gein and Jeffery Dahmer...   Bulldawg 11:51pm, September 20, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] okayyyyyy, I had a nice bod @ 17 (so the girls said) when I was injured (kinda mangled) on my motorcycle in 1977.....but I can't imagine any girls digging me up if I'd have died, which I nearly did in the e.r.. LMAO...Screwin' w/ ashes must lose it's appeal quickly, anyway. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.... ...dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind... Denny, what's your take on this; being nearly killed in a motorcycle crash, also.  Hop this way... Bulldawg 7:51pm, September 22, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] In July, India's Medical Association began investigating three doctors who appeared on television to promote their amputation services specifically to beggars, whose income prospects grow with the more sympathy they engender. One doctor said he would remove a leg below the knee, leaving it fairly easy to fit a prosthetic, for the equivalent of about $200.  My Take On It.... Denny 1:42am, September 23, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Well Gary, I've thought about it and decided I'm going to visit the local 'naughty stuff store' to purchase a large, life-like, replica of the male private parts. I'll then hollow it out and after my cremation, I want it filled with my ashes...pack it good and tight. If some young, hot chick(s) wants to disinter my ashes for her/their own perverted pleasure, I'm good to go...though I'd prefer to be used for such activity while I'm still alive and kicking, uhhh spasming.  Mo, who as luck would have it, has a Moe Howard haircut... Edzz 8:35pm, September 28, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese culture ministry official has denounced a university professor who stripped naked in front of students and teachers during an art class, a Chinese newspaper reported on Tuesday. Mo Xiaoxin, a 56-year-old assistant professor at a university in Changzhou, in eastern Jiangsu province, shocked students by stripping during a lecture on "body art" to emphasize the "power" of the body and to "challenge taboos", the Beijing News said. "There are no taboos in the field of research, but to do this directly in the course of teaching is obviously not appropriate," the paper quoted Tian Junting, a culture ministry official, as saying. The lecture was part of a course within a newly established "human body art and culture" research institute -- China's first -- at Jiangsu Teachers University of Technology, the paper said. Mo arranged for four other models, including a man and woman in their seventies or eighties, and a younger couple, to strip naked in front of the class while he lectured, the paper said. During the nearly hour-long class, Mo also invited students to take their clothes off. "Professor Mo appeared emotionally excited at the time," the paper quoted a student as saying. "As he was talking, he undid his belt and took off his pants, and stood naked in the middle of the lecture podium." The naked lecture made many of the 30 or so students feel "uneasy", the paper said. "Some kept their eyes trained on the ceiling, some awkwardly bowed their heads and stared at the ground". Tian, the culture ministry official, said the course was still in a "research phase" and it wasn't yet known whether it had produced "positive or negative effects".  Why can't we find bin laden? Edzz 8:50pm, September 28, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] The Top 10 Stupidest Things President George W. Bush Has Ever Said 10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 9) "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000 8) "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." —second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004 7) "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000 6) "You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." —to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005 5) "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 4) "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000 3) "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000 2) "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 1) "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002  lmao Edzz 9:25pm, September 28, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Bandits Score at X-Rated Shop (WSB Radio) -- The bandits got the money from the register and the handcuffs off the shelf. Three suspects are being sought by DeKalb police in the early Wednesday morning robbery of the Starship Enterprise adult novelty store on Memorial Drive. Office Herschel Grangent told WSB the store was hit around 1:20 a.m. and that the robbers handcuffed the workers, using novelty handcuffs sold at the store. The robbers, armed with handguns, fled on foot. All three were wearing white shirts, blue jeans and had masks. Investigators hope surveillance video might lead to suspects. No one was hurt during the robbery.  The anti-Waltons Edzz 9:29pm, September 28, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Drunk Toddler's Brother Arrested (AP) Minneapolis A 14-year-old boy was under arrested Wednesday after his 3-year-old sister was found passed out with a blood alcohol level of 0.12 percent at a home where four adults were "heavily drunk," authorities said. She was unconscious and in critical condition when she was taken to a hospital Monday night, police spokesman Lt. Greg Reinhardt said. "The child could have easily died," Reinhardt said. However, she was doing fine Tuesday and by midmorning Wednesday had been released from the hospital to the St. Joseph's Home for Children, a nonprofit that cares for children in crisis. The girl's brother was arrested Tuesday at the home on suspicion of child endangerment, Reinhardt said. "This was not a case of accidental alcohol poisoning," he said. It was a case of "neglect or abuse." The girl's grandmother, a 53-year-old Minneapolis woman, was released Wednesday after being arrested previously on suspicion of possible child endangerment. The girl's sister called police and told officers the 3-year-old accidentally got into alcohol in a cabinet, Reinhardt said. He said police later learned that she drank hard liquor, but he didn't know what kind. Kirk Hughes of the Minnesota Poison Control System said it would take about 7 ounces of beer or about one ounce of 40-proof liquor for a 28-pound child to reach a 0.12 blood-alcohol level. One ounce would be about two mouthfuls for such a child, he said. Authorities also found 11 other children, ages 1 to 15, at the house, Reinhardt said. The 3-year-old's mother was not home at the time, he said. She later told officers the grandmother was the baby sitter, according to a police report. Arthur Searcy, a visitor at the house Monday night, said the grandmother took the blame because of her "mother hen" instincts to protect her grandchildren. She was visiting, not baby sitting, he said. "The baby got a hold of something, and that's it," Searcy said. "Accidents do happen." The adults were drinking in the kitchen and the children were in another room when the girl got drunk, he said, adding he was unaware of her condition until police arrived.  Why not just keep the cash you stole vs buying lotto tickets? lmao Edzz 9:34pm, September 28, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Lottery Addict Screams At Judge For Jail Sentence (AP) RIVERHEAD, Long Island A sobbing lottery addict convicted of stealing $2.3 million from her employer to fund her habit screamed at the judge that prison won't cure her. "Tell me how you're helping me!" Annie Donnelly of Farmingville yelled at state Supreme Court Justice Robert Doyle during her sentencing Tuesday. Donnelly pleaded guilty last month to second-degree grand larceny in exchange for the sentence of four to 12 years in prison. The former bookkeeper for a doctors' office admitted she stole the money. Prosecutors said she spent as much as $6,000 a day playing Lotto and scratch-off games. "So put me upstate. But you know what? When I come out, I'm still going to have a problem," Donnelly shouted at Doyle. She continued her courtroom tirade for several minutes, threatening to kill herself if she was sent to prison -- even as her mother begged "Please stop it." The Suffolk County sheriff's department said the defendant had been placed on suicide watch at the Riverhead jail. Prosecutors said that between June 2002 and November 2005, the former bookkeeper wrote company checks for cash, petty cash, or checks payable to herself and then falsely listed them as payments to vendors associated with the Great South Bay Surgical Associates in Babylon. The average check was for less than $3,000 and Donnelly wrote them in oddly numbered amounts instead of round numbers to avoid being caught, prosecutors said. She also would "move money around" within the business ledgers. The theft was discovered when a bank called one of the physicians to say his checks were bouncing. In the first year Donnelly stole $41,261 from the office. Each year, the thefts increased, with Donnelly stealing $1,381,927 in 2005. Investigators believe Donnelly may have won some jackpots of $5,000 or even $25,000, but it was never enough to cover the amount she had stolen overall. Donnelly told the judge Wednesday she knew what she did was wrong and that she had seen a psychiatrist. "Give me four to 12, give me 25" years in prison, she said. "It's not going to do anything".  I betcha Ed feels bad! ;-) Bulldawg 11:45pm, October 07, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Bobby Brown (aka Whitney Houston's estranged hubby and career ender) is no longer allowed in Boston MA or the state of MA. Hell, I dunno why, it's just so! I heard it 1st on ABC Radio news   Edzz 11:13pm, October 10, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] I think he's wanted for delinquent child support.   Edzz 11:19pm, October 10, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Police: Camera catches prosecutor naked October 10, 2006 HAMILTON, Ohio --A security camera caught a city prosecutor walking around naked in a government building after business hours, authorities said. Scott Blauvelt, 35, was arrested Monday and charged with two counts of public indecency. He was released from the Butler County jail and is awaiting a hearing in Hamilton Municipal Court, where he usually works, sheriff's Maj. Anthony Dwyer said. A guard monitoring a security camera spotted a nude man investigators identified as Blauvelt in a building that houses county offices Thursday night, Dwyer said. The night before, security video had captured Blauvelt naked in another area of the building, where city offices are located, he said. Dwyer said investigators don't know why Blauvelt, who was alone, wasn't wearing clothes. The indecency charge carries a sentence of up to a month in jail and $250 fine if convicted. Mayor Don Ryan said he planned to meet with the city law director Tuesday to talk about Blauvelt's employment status. Blauvelt also has served as assistant county prosecutor and a defense lawyer. Blauvelt's lawyer, Michael Gmoser, did not immediately return a call from The Cincinnati Enquirer seeking comment.   Edzz 11:21pm, October 10, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Woman charged with drunk horse riding October 10, 2006 CLAYTON, Ga. --Well, that's a DUI of a different color. Heather Darnell, 22, of Mountain City, Ga., faces a drunk driving charge after she steered the horse she was riding onto the highway and tangled with a car, authorities said. Darnell also was cited for entering a traffic lane. She remains in fair condition after being airlifted to the Gwinnett Medical Center in Lawrenceville, Ga. The horse apparently survived, officials said. Three people who were in the Pontiac Bonneville that struck the horse Friday night were treated at Mountain Lakes Medical Center in Clayton, Ga., and released: Ancella Gragg, 32, of Lakemont, Ga., who was at the wheel; and a 13-year-old girl and 9-year-old boy. Trooper Anthony Coleman said Gragg did not see the horse until too late and was unable to avoid hitting it. "If it's on the public right-of-way, you're under the same jurisdiction as if you're in a car," Coleman said.  Stoopid Me ;-) Bulldawg 9:57pm, October 12, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Sorry for being st stoopid, lately, and not adding to this thread more. I will rectumfy this oversight. ;-)  Coach Of The Year Award goes to... Edzz 8:46pm, October 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] UNIONTOWN, Pa. - A youth baseball coach accused of offering an 8-year-old money to bean an autistic teammate so he couldn't play was sentenced Thursday to one to six years in prison. Fayette County Judge Ralph Warman sentenced 29-year-old Mark R. Downs Jr. of Dunbar, Pa. to consecutive six-to-36-month sentences for corruption of minors and criminal solicitation to commit simple assault. A jury convicted Downs in September. Warman revoked Downs' bond and sent him to prison. Downs didn't speak at the sentencing but told reporters "I didn't do nothing" as he was led out of the courtroom. His attorney, Thomas Shaffer, said Downs was upset and looked forward to appealing the verdict. Downs was ordered Thursday to undergo a mental health evaluation and barred from coaching any youth league sport while on parole. Authorities said Downs offered to pay one of his players $25 to hit Harry Bowers, a mildly autistic teammate, with a ball while warming up before a June 2005 playoff game. Prosecutors said Downs wanted the 9-year-old out of the game, because the boy didn't play as well as his teammates. Player Keith Reese Jr. said he purposely threw a ball that hit Bowers in the groin and another that hit Bowers in the ear, on Downs' instructions. Downs denied offering to pay Reese to hurt Bowers. "These acts are extremely outrageous and extremely reprehensible since the defendant was involved in the coaching of a youth league," Warman said. Bowers' mother, Jennifer Bowers, said Thursday that since her son was hit, she has struggled to get him to try new activities. She said the boy fears that he would get hurt again. Downs was acquitted on a more serious charge of criminal solicitation to commit aggravated assault. Jurors deadlocked on a charge of reckless endangerment. The judge declared a mistrial on the endangerment charge, and prosecutors said they wouldn't retry him.  It only took 4 times? More proof that having globs of money doesn't equate to having globs of brains Edzz 9:02pm, October 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Spanish woman got boy’s father to pay $1.26M in ransom, paper reports MADRID - A Spanish woman staged fake kidnappings of her son four times and got his father to pay her more than a million euros ($1.26 million) in ransom money, newspaper El Mundo reported on Friday. Police in the southern Spanish city of Seville arrested the woman and five accomplices, including the 15-year-old son who cooperated in the deception by calling his father on the telephone and begging him to pay up. The father paid ransoms after the first three fake abductions without realizing the involvement of his son’s mother, from whom he had separated. He became suspicious the fourth time and hired a private detective, El Mundo reported.  Fishy? Edzz 9:05pm, October 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Police: Pants held shrimp Police said frozen shrimp dropped bag-by-bag out of his pants legs onto the parking lot where he fought the managers. The whole thing probably looked a little fishy. Wednesday afternoon, according to West York Police, Giant Food Store employees watched as a customer slipped three bags of frozen shrimp into his baggy pants. A few minutes later, as two managers at the West Market Street store struggled in the parking lot with the man they suspected was the thief, police said, two of the bags plopped onto the ground. Then, the thief pulled out a hypodermic syringe from his pocket and threatened the managers with it, police said. They didn't take the bait. They tackled him and pinned him down until police arrived, police said. Nobody was injured, West York Officer Brad Thomas said. An officer retrieved the third bag of frozen shrimp from the man's pants. Thomas took Kenneth George Bilwin II, 28, of no fixed address, into custody. The Giant spokesman declined to comment on the arrest. A duty district justice arraigned Bilwin on felony charges of robbery and theft, and misdemeanor charges of terroristic threats and simple assault. Bilwin remained in the county prison Thursday in lieu of $50,000 bail, summary traffic violations, two 72-hour parole violations and a felony warrant with no bail from Lehigh County on suspicion of aggravated assault, simple assault, harassment and retail theft, a spokeswoman said. It may not have been Bilwin's first attempt to fend off captors with an unsheathed needle, Thomas said. The Lehigh County warrant carries a warning that Bilwin had threatened to stick people there with a hypodermic needle. According to court records, Bilwin pleaded guilty in April 2005 to retail theft and theft charges for crimes committed in Springettsbury and West Manchester townships. He was sentenced to nine to 23 months in the county prison and released in December 2005.  Santa's being naughty... Edzz 9:08pm, October 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] LOGANSPORT, Ind. -- A man who has portrayed Santa Claus was one of several men arrested in a two-day crackdown on sexual activity at a Logansport park this week, police said. John Hopkins, 60, was arrested Wednesday at Spencer Park after he grabbed an undercover officer, according to Kokomo police, who helped Logansport police with the sting. The white-bearded Hopkins told police that he has played Santa in the past. When an investigator found in Hopkins' truck a flier about an upcoming holiday event, Hopkins said he guessed he couldn't play Santa anymore because of the arrest, police said. Hopkins faces a charge of public indecency, police said. He was free Thursday on bond. Other men were arrested on suspicion of exposing themselves and soliciting sex at the park, including in a bathroom there. "It's pretty sad when you've got children that walk into the park when there's adults having sex in the bathroom," Logansport police Lt. Cathi Collins said.  3rd time a charm? hardly. Move out of New York City NOW!! Edzz 9:13pm, October 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] 2nd bolt from blue Horror hit home of '97 parade victim BY RICH SCHAPIRO DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER Kathy Caronna Cory Lidle's doomed plane didn't just crash into anybody's apartment. It exploded into the empty bedroom of Kathleen Caronna, the Manhattan woman who was critically injured when a balloon knocked part of a lamppost onto her head during the 1997 Thanksgiving Day Parade. The plane's engine was found only feet away from where Caronna sleeps, her relatives told the Daily News yesterday. "She lost her whole bedroom," said a family member, who asked not to be identified. "Everything's devastated. ... She's got nowhere to go." Caronna was on her way home Wednesday when the plane crashed into the Belaire at 2:42p.m. She was extremely shaken after the disaster, telling loved ones she would have been home if the plane had crashed only a few minutes later. Her sister-in-law, Lisa Brown, 43, called Caronna's situation "unbelievable." "How do you go through two major things like this?" Brown asked. "It's spooky. It's very spooky." Caronna was a 33-year-old investment analyst in 1997 when she was critically injured at the Thanksgiving Day parade. She was watching the festivities with her husband and 7-month-old son at 72nd St. and Central Park West when handlers lost control of the six-story-high Cat in the Hat balloon. A section of a streetlight weighing several hundred pounds fell and hit Caronna on the head. Her skull was fractured, and she spent 24 days in a coma before waking up. She later sued Macy's and the city for $395 million, but settled for an undisclosed amount in 2001. Yesterday, investigators escorted Caronna into her charred apartment to survey the damage, her relatives said. She has been living in the high-rise with her husband, Ignazio Massimo, and their 9-year-old son, Alessandro. "This is a tough time for us, and I can't really talk now," her husband said yesterday. Caronna's mother, Helen Brown, said her daughter's apartment is unlivable. The bedroom went up in flames. Asked about her daughter, Brown said, "She's fine."   Edzz 9:21pm, October 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] STRASBOURG, France (AFP) - One person died and 13 others fell sick after they were exposed to excessive doses of X-rays as they were being scanned for prostate cancer at an eastern French hospital, the regional health authority said. The accidents occurred between May 2004 and May 2005 at Epinal Hospital, where staff misused a new software programme that had been installed in the X-ray unit, the Lorraine Regional Hospital Agency said. Twenty-three patients received excessive doses of radiation. The 13 who fell ill suffered from rectal inflammation and needed surgery to fit an artificial anus, it said. The French health ministry has ordered an independent inquiry into the affair  .. and not a single 7-11, Dairy Queen or Denny's to be found within 1,000 miles. Edzz 9:26pm, October 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet (three metre) high marijuana plants. General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defence staff, said on Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana. "The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices ... and as a result you really have to be careful that the Taliban don't dodge in and out of those marijuana forests," he said in a speech in Ottawa. "We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said. Even successful incineration had its drawbacks. "A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those (forests) did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hiller said dryly. One soldier told him later: "Sir, three years ago before I joined the army, I never thought I'd say 'That damn marijuana'."  The old "I discovered a large amount of marijuana in my lap and thought it was a bomb someone tossed into my car" legal defense strategy Edzz 9:31pm, October 13, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Vero man sentenced to 30 years in prison for marijuana charges October 6, 2006 INDIAN RIVER COUNTY — A Vero Beach man who testified he fled from police because he discovered a large amount of marijuana in his lap and thought it was a bomb someone tossed into his car was sentenced to 30 years in prison. Circuit Judge Dan L. Vaughn ordered David L. Bennett, 38, to serve 30 years for his conviction by a jury Aug. 15 on charges of possession of marijuana with intent to sell, fleeing and eluding police, and driving with a revoked driver's license. At Bennett's trial, Indian River County Sheriff's Deputy Scott Sposato testified he saw Bennett sitting in a car outside a business in the 3000 block of 45th Street about 2 a.m. on May 8, 2005. Sposato testified he shined his flashlight into the car and saw two clear bags filled with marijuana in Bennett's lap. Sposato testified he entered the car to arrest Bennett, but Bennett sped off, sending Sposato to the pavement. On Thursday, Sposato asked Vaughn to consider Bennett's aggressive fleeing from several deputies. "I was looking at him eye-to-eye, and I got my Taser out to Taser him," Sposato told the judge. "But I could not Taser him once he began driving the vehicle." Testimony showed Bennett fled at a high rate of speed before losing control of his car in a residential yard. When deputies caught up to him, he was seen tossing the bags of marijuana into the woods. At the scene, deputies recovered 40 bags of marijuana weighing more than 86 grams. Bennett, of the 900 block of Eighth Court Southwest, said he fled after an unidentified man approached his car, raised his shirt to reveal a concealed handgun, and hurled an unknown object into his car. "I thought it was a bomb," Bennett testified. "I didn't know if it was a bomb or a gun, I just wanted to get away from it. I didn't know it was marijuana until they brought me to jail and booked me." Bennett testified he never saw Sposato enter his car, and on Thursday he repeated to the judge he did not see the pursuing deputies' emergency lights. "It was a mistake of my eyesight, I guess, and I'm paying for it," Bennett said. Assistant State Attorney Lauren McBride asked Vaughn to take into account Bennett's 14 felony convictions since the mid-1980s, about half of them for drug sales or possession. Defense attorney Rusty Akins asked Vaughn to impose a sentence of 16 years —one year over the minimum. "None of his felony convictions indicate Mr. Bennett is a violent person," Akins said. "They do indicate he has a serious drug problem that he has not addressed."  Turning back time... Bulldawg 6:51pm, October 24, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] The idiotic ritual continues: time to turn clocks back an hour this coming weekend (so we all can share standard time) and so you're not late w/ your bowel program. ;-)  Alabama trailer park. 'nuff said. Edzz 5:21pm, October 31, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Teen Arrested for Raping His Mother Oct 28, 2006 01:36 PM EDT Albertville, Ala. -- Police say a Marshall County teen raped his mother to get revenge on his brother. Police say 19-year-old Gary Helms, Jr., raped his 45-year-old mother this past weekend at Willow Terrace Trailer Park on Doyle Drive in Albertville. It's a twisted crime that police say Helms admits. "From what we understand the rape stemmed from an argument between him and his brother. And apparently they were arguing over a girlfriend. And the rape was some sort of retaliation towards his brother," said Sgt. Jamie Smith of the Albertville Police Department. It was unusual retaliation on an unsuspecting victim. Authorities say Helms' mother was apparently passed out drunk on the couch when the rape started. "During the attack she did come to and recognize her attacker. (Reporter: As her son?) As her son," said Smith. That's when, according to the police report, the mother "tried to get away, but he held her down until he was finished." "It's totally sick is what it is," said Smith. Helms was arrested and charged with the 1st degree rape of his own mother. Smith says it's hard to wrap your mind around. "Shocked, shocked would be more a better way to describe it. That somebody would dip to the lows to do something of this nature. It's just pretty much a shock to the conscience of the general public," said Smith. Helms is being held in the Marshall County Jail on $100,000 bond.   Edzz 8:13pm, November 04, 2006 [Edit] [Delete] Naked man arrested for concealed weapon November 4, 2006 EL CERRITO, Calif. --A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors -- naked -- and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said. The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said. John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan. "You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said. Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident. Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon. "When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon. That's a stabbing instrument," Horgan said. It was not immediately clear what Sheehan was on parole for. A person answering the phone at the jail Friday night did not know whether Sheehan had a lawyer. Index | New Thread | Reply | Close | Stick | Delete