T
7:45pm, December 09, 2008
[Edit]
[Delete] | *Note: This is only meant for fun. For those who love and like the Twilight series, more power to you, I hope you do enjoy every word of the books and the movies. This is done mainly for me and those who are annoyed by the Twilight series. Also, most of the Vampire side of things I use draw from the books and movies of the Vampire Hunter D series, to show a Japanese guy can do a better version of the classic Vampire than Stephenie Meyer, who seemed to do no research on the Vampire, thus the Twilight Wusspires are not Vampires in my book. So let's begin! :D
Point 1: SUN IS NOT GOOD FOR VAMPIRES!!!!
In the Twilight series, it is shown that when a Vampire, a known creature of the NIGHT is in sunlight, their skin sparkles like diamonds....BULL! A Vampire is a being of darkness, hence why they sleep during the day. The strongest of Vampires are weakened during the sunlight, and regular vampires BURN in sunlight, look at what happens to Meier Link from the second VHD movie, Bloodlust:
They do NOT do this:
Vampires sleep during the day because the rays of the sun can at best weaken them, at worst kill them, NOT make them sparkle like a diamond. Good lord how stupid is that, take them to a pawn shop and sell them off, because they suck out loud, those Wusspires.
Point 2: The Looks of a Vampire
This part the lady actually seems to have somewhat of an idea for what Vampires are supposed to look like. Beautiful, an unearthly beauty. However she seems to harp on and on about that. However, they seem to really screw this up in the movie...I dunno if it's casting, or just the make up they used...but if Edward is supposed to be an unearthly beauty of a Vampire...how come he looks like he's related to Ace Ventura?
Worst yet, the poster for the movie make the main guy Vampire look more like a caveman than a beautiful Vampire. What the heck is that about?
This image screams, "It's so easy even a caveman can do it!" Not to mention the vacant stare that the main woman carries in all the images of her. A deer in the headlights has more emotion than her, plus she seems to rip off Charlotte's look from Bloodlust.
They both carry the same story of wanting to be turned by their lovers, where Edward seems to just wanna stare at her, be away from her, and not really explain why he refuses to turn her, Meier Link refuses to turn Charlotte because he does not wish his fate upon her. To forever hunger for the blood of humans, and to live a life of darkness. Where Bella gives cow eyes and moos at Edward, Charlotte (whilst she is a bit naive too) threatens to end her own life because she cannot live without him.
But back to the point of beauty, vampires are beautiful, not cavemen.
 
These guys have the beauty there, pale, Vampire features. In the books, D, a dhampir (half-human/half-vampire) is so beautiful, even the men fluster and flush around him, that's the power of the Vampires, but Twilight just...harps on in wrong ways about the looks...and then in the movie, they don't look all that great either.
Point 3: VAMPIRES HAVE FANGS!
While fangs have not always been a part of the Vampire myth, they became a vital part of the modern Vampire stories. Especially in movies, this is a visual part people cue in on that let people know a Vampire, especially when they are about to feed. Twilight tosses that out the window too, it's like she wanted to ruin anything that made a Vampire a Vampire.
 
This also leads to the next part to do with the fangs, the drinking of blood, which they leave their mark upon their necks. The twin marks on the neck is often called the 'Kiss of the Nobility' in the D books (as the Vampires are called the Nobility, a reference to the fact Dracula was a Count).
But Twilight, they lack even this, so no biting the neck like they always did in movies...I guess they must just rip out peoples throats to drink all that blood or something gorey...but wait! The movie is PG-13, so they must do something non-gory off screen then.
Point 4: Eyes are NOT a Fuel Gauge!
In the Twilight books, the eyes are harped on about, they change depending on their hunger and the last time they feasted upon blood. This is just...silly. You think people would notice the fact this group of people's eyes were changing so often.
While VHD notes that the Vampires have red eyes, even D has them, while in the D movie his eyes are only red when he's in extreme anger, which is a more logical use of the eye thing. Emotion makes a better trigger for eye changes than how much blood they got in them.
"Bella, I'm running on empty! Time to fill me up!"
So in wrapping up, I could probably make a whole report on how Twilight is screwed and how this series ruined the Vampire. The fact this group who would want to avoid getting attention drives the most expensive cars around, glitter in the sun like diamonds and all sorts of other BS that just totally takes away from the menace of the Vampire, the mysterious nature and darker aspects. Basically the books ended up being an outlet for a lady who wanted to make a trashy romance novel, but threw in the name of Vampire to try and make it different. She should have invented a name for them, because they're not Vampires. A Japanese man who's written nearly 20 books of the Vampire Hunter D series was able to capture the essence of the Vampire of European decent better than Twilight's author. You can see who really cares for the Vampire. He was able to include what makes a Vampire a Vampire, and even adds in his own flair and style, yet she just tosses the foundation of a Vampire and ruins it completely.
In the end, if these two series were to meet in an epic battle, the outcome to this battle would be this:
It wouldn't even be a battle, seeing as Twilight's Vampires are Wusspires and do not deserve the name...but the only thing the Vampire we all known and love has in common with the Wusspires...they both suck.
-T
PS: Feel free to comment and post your own views if you want, it's all for fun. :D Just be nice to each other if you post. Thanks.
Edited 8:30pm, December 09, 2008 by T, author. |
