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AIM Moments
Soap Star 6:12pm, June 30, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	So we have the best chat lines but sometimes, just sometimes, someone says something in AIM that is so funny...it needs to be shared. This is the thread for it. And make sure you tell them first since AIM conversations aren't the same as a public room. Thanks! Edited 4:45pm, November 29, 2005 by Soap Star, author.

Soap Star 6:15pm, June 30, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	And I will get this party started! xCaleb Morleyx: Talk. xLivvieLocke: Woof, woof Edited 4:54pm, September 18, 2005 by Soap Star, author.

Soap Star 6:59pm, July 01, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	This is why Mike and I watch soaps (This is about One Life) xCaleb Morleyx: Oh, John can have a dress up moment when he findes Vangie and Nat....Cheerleaders. xLivvieLocke: Wait...I saw that porno xLivvieLocke: Cop saves two cheerleaders and the cheerleaders decide to thank him by letting him strip search them xCaleb Morleyx: Yep, the killer made them dress up in cheerleader uniforms. xCaleb Morleyx: I'm sure he wants to search their pom poms xLivvieLocke: Or let them search each other while he watches xLivvieLocke: Chocolate on vanilla. YUM!

Soap Star 1:39am, July 04, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	Remind me not to ask him anything ever again. LOL xLivvieLocke: Question for you JenosIdanian1: What is it you want now? Always bugging me thanks to Hope. xLivvieLocke: You know you love it. I am the cutest bugger you got. :-) xLivvieLocke: Would Joe...in his pursuit for a new line of work...be up for the suggestion of say...working as head of security for Jon's club? JenosIdanian1: And just what is Jon's club? I could actually say something crude here, but you're not Hope. So I'll be sweet and nice. Don't tell Hope, though. Points at you. xLivvieLocke: Its...um...a gentleman's club. bats lashes xLivvieLocke: And please, don't be sweet and nice on my account. No one else gives me that courtesy. LOL JenosIdanian1: Gentlemen's club, you say? Hmmm...And would you ask a dog if he would like to guard a meat factory?

Soap Star 10:17pm, July 12, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	SugarVenom69: Kel SugarVenom69: I thought you were my friend xLivvieLocke: It was a lie xLivvieLocke: I was just getting close to you because xLivvieLocke: I wanted your fruity pebbles. zoink! SugarVenom69: lol My pebbles aren't fruity, thank you very much. xLivvieLocke: That is not what the football team told me SugarVenom69: They shouldn't listen to their mom's. Edited 5:17pm, July 12, 2005 by Soap Star, author.

Livvie Locke 4:29am, July 19, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	Names changed to protect the guilty xLivvieLocke: I filtered out "Harry Potter" to say puts on robe and wizard hat xxx: you crap me up xxx: lmao xLivvieLocke: LMAO Best...typo...ever
Yeah...Funny L
Personal Trainer 4:08am, July 26, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	I'm still laughing at this... xLivvieLocke: Pfft, she doesn't even know where her intake valve is, let alone what to do with it RuthlessSolanus: I'd show her, but I'd make her blow a head gasket first. xLivvieLocke: Might want to start with something simple xLivvieLocke: Have her turn your crank

Soap Star 2:53am, August 24, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	I started out asking her advice about an email. It ended up with the best visual in the world to me. x Livvie Locke: Does that seem too snarky? Trouble: That was way nicer than I'd be x Livvie Locke: Cause its not suppose to be Trouble: It's not at all x Livvie Locke: Okay, imagine you are pissed at me though Trouble: Even still. And if they are already pissed and are going to be pissy really no matter what you say it'll be 'See what a bitch' that was more polite than you need to b Trouble: e x Livvie Locke: true. L Trouble: yep. panties already in a bunch tend to get bunchier x Livvie Locke: LMAO That is a great visual Trouble: curtsies x Livvie Locke: I am putting that on AIM moments

Soap Star 1:31am, August 25, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	This so made me laugh so hard. I am so funny x Livvie Locke: Oh god x Livvie Locke: I love you SugarVenom69: I've tried for 6 months to get you to say that. Let's go play Harry Potter now, I'm so hot and bothered!! x Livvie Locke: puts on robe and wizard hat x Livvie Locke: casts Fornicationus x Livvie Locke: quick, cast Propholyactus before we have to cast Coitus Interptus!
Stuff like this makes 'Chuck' chuckle.
Personal Trainer 2:21am, August 31, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	I don't know if it's as much an 'AIM Moment' as it is a 'blonde' moment. kaylencarter: But we can't start from where they stopped because it's a PG13 room LOL SugarVenom69: We can start, the next morning kaylencarter: Allright, I did make it a friday LOL. kaylencarter: The next moring will be Saturday kaylencarter: Right? Yes...okay Goes back to preschool to learn the days of the week kaylencarter: lol SugarVenom69: On most calendars, yes, the next day is Saturday lol

Soap Star 11:21pm, September 08, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	This is why RPers should never have conversations over AIM...or attempt to x Livvie Locke: I see you.... xCaleb Morleyx: No you don't. I'm a piggyment of your imagination x Livvie Locke: Oh okay. Well let's have tea then and talk about my idea for a Sam/John scene xCaleb Morleyx: Okay. two lumps x Livvie Locke: sits down in her frilly dress and gives you two lumps of sugar in your tea So Mr. Waddlebottom, I do think the pansies will be purple this year. xCaleb Morleyx: No. I think they will be candy cane x Livvie Locke: Oh, that will be lovely for the garden. Would you like a cucumber sandwich? xCaleb Morleyx: Yes. Without the crust x Livvie Locke: With crust? What do you take me for sir, a savage? Do I speak in a horrid Irish accent and drink pints of Guiness. Surly you insult me, speaking of crusted bread x Livvie Locke: Surly! Look, you have so offended my delicate ladylike abilities, I am unable to properly spell "surely"! xCaleb Morleyx: But I speak with that horried Irish accent when not tryin' ta be what I' ain't. And Guiness. Don' dare insult the nectar uv the gods! x Livvie Locke: faints straight away, hand to forehead, other hand holding her hankerchief to her chest Oh...Mr. Waddlebottom.... x Livvie Locke: said all of that BEFORE she fainted. Oh yes xCaleb Morleyx: Mr. Waddlebottom..bah..that git refused ta hand over his purse. x Livvie Locke: comes to, hand still to forehead I am dealing with some savage child of the devil here. I need to be taken to the doctor straight away to be relieved of these ill humors! x Livvie Locke: is just waiting for the rest of the acursed naughty slang to come flowing out your mouth like verbal diaherra xCaleb Morleyx: Cop on, luv. What do ya think I am a corner boi? x Livvie Locke: It assaults my ears so. reaches up to put her hands to her ears A nice afternoon tea ruined by your boorish manners. xCaleb Morleyx: Mr. Waddlebottom was nuttin' but a cute hoors. x Livvie Locke: Such things you say of my dear friend Mr. Waddlebottom! Your tongue should be removed posthaste! xCaleb Morleyx: Well, a doxie ya ain't. So, how about a doorstep and a pint? xCaleb Morleyx: An' Mr. Waddlebottom is probably doin' the riverdance. But ya. Yer not a scab as he talked. x Livvie Locke: Well...I am not quite sure what you mean by a doorstep, sir. Though coming from you, it is probably barbaric in nature. I am a lady! xCaleb Morleyx: And ya call yerself a hostess. Gets up and fixes own sandwich. x Livvie Locke: I am a hostess to respectable members of society. Not those that exist on the fringe. Why I am surprised you haven't thrown me over your shoulder to take me off to one of your pagan orgies! does she sound a might be interested...why yes she does! xCaleb Morleyx: A vixen ya are x Livvie Locke: bats her lashes at him I have been known to have quite a few suitors in my day. Why I thought for sure Mr. Waddlebottom was going to ask my father for my hand xCaleb Morleyx: Ya never laid eyes on the git. Bloody tanner, and ya were goin' ta hitch yerself up ta him. x Livvie Locke: It is not as if I had a choice, sir. Not all of us have the same freedoms that you have in the wilds of the Emerald Isle. xCaleb Morleyx: Yar friend. Indicates Darth Tater. Is thick as a ditch. x Livvie Locke: He is one of your people, is he not? He is a potato. I thought you would revere him at the very least as a savior of your people xCaleb Morleyx: I revere him baked, mashed, boiled or fired. x Livvie Locke: At least we have that in common...adds quickly though savage xCaleb Morleyx: And ya probably think I'm a manky motherless. x Livvie Locke: she raises one lovely brow when he says that That sir, I am sure I do not. I have no knowledge of what that is! xCaleb Morleyx: But ya know, I only got a joyce frum yer Mr. Waddlebottom. Not ta fluse he was. x Livvie Locke: Now I really have no idea of what you speak. If you wish to converse with me, may I suggest the King's English xCaleb Morleyx: This is my english, luv. King's or not. x Livvie Locke: Then I guess we will be forced to find...some other way to communicate? xCaleb Morleyx: Walks over. Grabs her. Kisses her dipping her. x Livvie Locke: and as the music swells, we get our scene because player is just laughing too hard to take it anymore
SNOOP DOG EAT YOUR HEART OUT
Spike 10:16pm, September 16, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	kaylencarter [6:00 P.M.]: Yooooo! DirrrtyMexican13 [6:01 P.M.]: fo nizzle? kaylencarter [6:02 P.M.]: My shizzle nizzle kizzle..okay wait that sounded wrong LOL DirrrtyMexican13 [6:02 P.M.]: hahaha kaylencarter [6:02 P.M.]: No more Kayla trying to be all "gangsta" kaylencarter [6:02 P.M.]: LOL kaylencarter [6:05 P.M.]: Anyways before I go all gansta again...Last night yo! Are we just saying they fought and made up or they fought all night and if you want, they saw the sun rise finally? LOL up to you YO! kaylencarter [6:05 P.M.]: damn too late, back to gansta homey. DirrrtyMexican13 [6:06 P.M.]: shizzle sounds blizzle kaylencarter [6:06 P.M.]: Wizzle? DirrrtyMexican13 [6:07 P.M.]: exactizzle kaylencarter [6:08 P.M.]: I gotta uncode, So they fought all night and watched the sun rise so Kaylen knows about him being in the sun oooooorr they fought made up, he left LOL DirrrtyMexican13 [6:09 P.M.]: secondizzle kaylencarter [6:09 P.M.]: aight yo

Soap Star 10:05pm, September 18, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	This was just out of nowhere in the middle of our conversation. That is what makes it so funny: kaylencarter: I think Dan's hot, I wanna get a piece of that action let me tell ya!! kaylencarter: hahaha kaylencarter: I love staring at a hot guy all week

Soap Star 10:19pm, September 18, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	This was from another topic I deleted because it wasn't relevant. I thought it was funny enough to keep: This owner team is like a hot dog. I am the sexy, pouty, soft lips. He is the assholes!

Soap Star 10:25pm, September 18, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	Another thing pulled from a dead thread that needs to be preserved. Hmm... Chuck Lee 5:48am, April 29, 2005 I love honesty Soap Star..L I play favorites too. Why do you think I'm always playing with myself? lol Soap Star 10:03am, April 29, 2005 Chuck- Let's get married. Just don't tell Mike. Shhhhhhhhhh....winks Right Soap Hunk 2:10pm, April 29, 2005 I heard that!!! You're on..lol Chuck Lee 5:19pm, April 29, 2005 LMAO Okay, where do I sign? L And your secret is safe with me. winks back looks at Mike Oops...LOL We could just go Mormon? ;) lol Soap Star 12:58am, April 30, 2005 Pffffft...I am too much woman for both of you! Now you get a few more your buddies to marry me, then we got a deal. Each husband gets a new name. I will just call you Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.... I got dibs... Charles Lee 5:49am, April 30, 2005 I get dibs on the name..."Everyday"

Soap Star 2:34am, September 24, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	Trouble: cause too many people wouldn't get it x Livvie Locke: I know. Only you and I get it Trouble: yep everybody else is LAME x Livvie Locke: L to the A to the M to the E, LAME! Trouble: that totally made me wanna do the cabbage patch x Livvie Locke: I have that effect on people Edited 11:44pm, September 26, 2005 by Soap Star, author.

Soap Star 4:44am, September 27, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	Trouble: Yes and then maybe I'm going to punt this computer x Livvie Locke: Mmmm. Punting is good Trouble: Should probably do it on a day i'm wearing boots x Livvie Locke: What is today? Trouble: Monday the 26th x Livvie Locke: LOL I mean the shoes Trouble: Dood I so just filled out the date you're lucky I knew that x Livvie Locke: The shoooooooes Trouble: Oh canvas mary janes i got at rite aid

Soap Star 10:02pm, September 27, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	This especially applies to Saved by the Bell... SugarVenom69: TV rots your brain SugarVenom69: unless it's MacGyver x Livvie Locke: LOL This coming from the dude that can't miss Survivor SugarVenom69: No, It's okay that I rot my brain. x Livvie Locke: How come? SugarVenom69: It really numbs the pain, in the longrun

Soap Star 11:05pm, September 30, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	x Livvie Locke: Sure. I am down with the alternative lifestyles. I mean, I will be commiting...well not polygamy or polyandry. What would you call it if someone has a wife and a husband? AliasJXC: lucky

Soap Star 12:08am, October 01, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	OMFG! I have never laughed so hard in my life. In the middle of conversation, this came out of nowhere. Trouble: I don't mean to sound like a queer or nothin..but I think unicorns kick ass. OUT...OF...NOWHERE

Soap Star 8:40am, October 02, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	Cause Trouble is too spazzed out on cream to put this up herself. LOL x Livvie Locke: You are evil Trouble: Snickers Well you know I am like all knowing of the rp world dood x Livvie Locke: You so are. You are Jamby. L x Livvie Locke: Mekkalekka high mekka hidey ho

Soap Star 12:54am, October 12, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	I swear, that girl can always make me laugh x Livvie Locke: OMG! Trouble...the state founded for me in my unemployment claim! I am so happy Trouble: YEAH YEAH YEAH Trouble: That is the HOT (narfin) sex. That excited me so much now I have to pee. Brb

Soap Star 4:57am, October 12, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	No play for Chuck. Not even over the IM! LOL RuthlessSolanus: drags you off to the bushes too before I log off x Livvie Locke: is so dragged Are we going to play parchesi? RuthlessSolanus: If that's what you want to call it...gets behind the bushes...which immediately start shaking for full effect x Livvie Locke: OMG! He is having a seizure! x Livvie Locke: Someone get a wooden spoon!
hahahaha...mashed potatos
Soap Star 5:55am, October 13, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	AliasJXC: oh that sounds so dirty ;-) AliasJXC: sign me up x Livvie Locke: I knew you were the type to go for that. winks I heard stories AliasJXC: Lucifer's been talkin, eh? x Livvie Locke: He likes to kiss and tell AliasJXC: Bastard! x Livvie Locke: He told me all about position 46 AliasJXC: Did you try it? x Livvie Locke: Not yet. The husbear said its against nature AliasJXC: Ah, yes... the temporary removal of limbs IS a bit strange, I suppose x Livvie Locke: I think he was more concerned with the goat sacrifice AliasJXC: oh, that's position 46a. AliasJXC: A variation on a theme. x Livvie Locke: OH! So I can leave the goat sacrfice out? What about the boiling bowls of pudding? AliasJXC: No, you still need that. And the mashed potatoes. x Livvie Locke: Oh yes, I knew you needed the mashed potatoes. That is a given x Livvie Locke: Its just not right without them AliasJXC: The gravy, however, is optional. x Livvie Locke: You think it would be okay if I used sour cream instead of gravy? AliasJXC: Yes, but only if chives are included. x Livvie Locke: I can live with that AliasJXC: oh good x Livvie Locke: I think maybe I will bring it up tomorrow night. See what he says AliasJXC: Good idea. AliasJXC: And remember: he can't say no if he's got a ballgag in his mouth. x Livvie Locke: And tied up! AliasJXC: indeed AliasJXC: and unconscious! x Livvie Locke: Well that is what the cholorform is for! AliasJXC: Ah, I usually try to smother them until they pass out x Livvie Locke: Hmmm...I bet that saves a lot of money. taps her chin Pillow? AliasJXC: usually

Soap Star 5:09pm, October 15, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	Finally! A group to go after the Superfriends. Watch out Justice League! SugarVenom69: Maybe Stef [Stefano Dimera]...is in cahoots with Vince ;-) lol x Livvie Locke: I could see that. L SugarVenom69: That's like a group called..."Super Bastards"

Soap Star 8:10am, October 16, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	If you guys didn't know we were crazy by now... Trouble: hugswe make a good pair Kelly: I agree. Hot and hotter Kelly: At first that said ho and ho...then I went and changed it. I think I shouldn't have. L Trouble: lol hot ho and hot ho Kelly: Hoe and hoer. L Kelly: I want to be hoer Trouble: LMAO YEAH dood Kelly: Oh man...we can be an elite crime fighting duo. You know, with big afros. You have a big brown one, I have...a big brown one. Like a domino, they are black and white, and they are going to topple...crime that is! Hoe and Hoer Trouble: LMFAO You are so funny Kelly: We can wear little polyester pantsuits and then like have to go undercover as cheerleaders. Or porn stars. Or cheerleading porn stars. Trouble: Cheerleading pornstars dood Kelly: Can be quick with a comeback when we are fighting crime. Like "everyone has thought of blowing an entire building beat up" Trouble: And don't forget our special hand to hand combat can be Hofu Kelly: Awww yeah...I want to crush a man's head between my mighty thighs of steal, all while wearing a pleather catsuit! Kelly: Woah...steel. LOL Yes, my thighs are actually cat burglars that we must stop. Quick! Rub this coconut oil on them! Trouble: First...flex and pose with them. Then coconut oil...THEN BAM crush someone then we go out disco dancing. Kelly: No way I'm disco dancing! I'm a model, you know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the catwalk. On the catwalk yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk Trouble: That will be our theme song Kelly: What? I thought the Lords of Acid Pussy song was our theme song? Trouble: Hrm...Too Sexy can be our outtro Kelly: We need a band trailing us playing it too. "Show me your pussy. Show it to me. I want to see your pussy, show it to me" Kelly: I can go with that. Trouble: And people throwing confetti and squealing Kelly: I would rather if they threw deli meats. I get hungry when I fight injustice and crime on these mean streets. Trouble: Cheese too? Kelly: Cheese gets melty in this gritty no name town. Kelly: Wow...so this is why my medications say "do not drink alcohol while taking this medication" It makes me think I am a 70s crime fighter. Trouble: And I'm not drinking. I have no excuse Kelly: Yeah. You always think you are a 70s blaxplotation crime fighter
Run Wild, Run Free
Soap Hunk 8:15pm, October 22, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	xCaleb Morleyx: Buffy around? zia 62939: Hm? Sure. How's it going in you land? xCaleb Morleyx: its going. where, I have no idea yet. zia 62939: Take it somewhere nice, it's been a long week. xCaleb Morleyx: I just let it wander around. L zia 62939: LIf you kept better track of it, you'd have fewer problems. I keep mine in a cage in the backyard. xCaleb Morleyx: Oh, I don't like to keep it caged up. Its a free spirit born to run. zia 62939: Gotta break it. Life's a bitch, make it your bitch. xCaleb Morleyx: But its so beautiful running around...so majestic and proud zia 62939: Neh, runs all over you, where is it when you need it? Gotta show it who's boss. Then it can run on weekends. xCaleb Morleyx: Well, Buffy is going to get a phone call shortly zia 62939: :-) Okay. (Check me out, I can also be serious and play nice.) xCaleb Morleyx: Don't tell me that. Ruin my world. zia 62939: Okay, it's a secret then. No one knows that I can also shut up and play nice. uses hypnosis You have no bloody idea what I'm capable of. . . end hypnosis

Soap Star 5:24am, October 27, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	YOUR MOM is as funny as this convo... Scottish Sith: I can forsee Dan and Angel fighting. Scottish Sith: Or Zach and Dan fighting Angel. L x Livvie Locke: Um yeah, ya think? LOL x Livvie Locke: Zach and Dan...united against a common enemy. Awww, its bonding Scottish Sith: "Dan, Angel turned me into a Vampire." ....shotgun cocks x Livvie Locke: LMAO x Livvie Locke: "Here, take this stake and holy water. They work better" Scottish Sith: "Do they come in M16 Attachments? stuffs stake in grenade launcher and arms self with the holy hand grenade of antioch Upon telling Mike: xCaleb Morleyx: I got visuals from that I can't shake from my head. x Livvie Locke: What sort of visuals? xCaleb Morleyx: Zach and Dan dressed as Rambo and shit..very comic book looking.
I started laughing when this popped up on my screen all the sudden
Personal Asswhooper 8:43pm, October 31, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	jabinbooth [3:37 P.M.]: WHAT UP DOG?

Soap Star 3:17am, November 07, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	These just struck me as funny. xCaleb Morleyx: Turns you over knee and spanks. Bad girl x Livvie Locke: OMG! FINALLY! After all these years, you FINALLY spanked me x Livvie Locke: I'm spent xCaleb Morleyx: Did Jon want to speak to Eric? x Livvie Locke: I have no penis tonight. L xCaleb Morleyx: Causes pop to come up through nose. x Livvie Locke: WOOHOO!
Certifiable?
Buffy Summers 1:59am, November 23, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	It was a moment that needs sharing... Who knew we had a real Certified Crazy in our midst? zia 62939: I did do much laundry this evening... So I rule in that sense. The one of having Lots of Clean Underwear and Towels. RainingInParadis: yes, you do zia 62939: LOL RainingInParadis: go me, I can be funny! zia 62939: Eh, you're a font of humor. A veritable river of laughter. RainingInParadis: rejoices That is what I always knew! And to think people just said I was insane! hides her insanity certificate zia 62939: OOOHHHH Wow, certified. I could never pass the written. RainingInParadis: I passed that with flying colors, it was the killing and talking to yourself part I had problems with. You know you have to kill off at least 2 people to get this damn certificate. zia 62939: Eh, I always missed the capper, they tell me you're supposed to eat the pencil, but I keep sticking it in my nose. Edited 8:01pm, November 22, 2005 by Buffy Summers, author.

Soap Star 10:47pm, November 29, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	This isn't TECHNICALLY an AIM convo but I saw this posting online and I had to share it. I would have shared it with Mike over AIM but he wasn't around. He likes clean clothes for some reason. Weirdo. What Would Buffy Do : The Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide The last review, said this, and I quote: Reviewer: Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabdou: From Boston Buffy is so much cooler than jesus it's not even funny. If there was a fight between Buffy and Jesus, that would be totally sweet.

Soap Star 9:26pm, November 30, 2005 [Edit] [Delete]	Just check out the times and what was said. I don't know why but this seriously made me laugh SO hard. I had to share it. (Mike and I are in a Yahoo group together and we were trying to hammer out a scene before I had to leave. So the tag is letting the other know when they've posted. This is the full unedited conversation.) x Livvie Locke (1:02:55 PM): t-t-t-t-ag xCaleb Morleyx (1:33:44 PM): tag x Livvie Locke (1:40:05 PM): Tag! xCaleb Morleyx (1:54:52 PM): tag x Livvie Locke (2:02:43 PM): TAG xCaleb Morleyx (2:21:28 PM): tag x Livvie Locke (2:22:29 PM): We are the kings of stimulating conversation today. LOL

Soap Star 4:11am, January 06, 2006 [Edit] [Delete]	Sometimes she says the funniest things: x Livvie Locke: Master P is in last place (on Dancing With The Stars) Trouble: Awwwww Trouble: Does he have rhythm? Can he make it clap? x Livvie Locke: No. He was like a dancing surfboard Trouble: LMAO x Livvie Locke: Huge black dude with teenie tiny white girl Trouble: Sounds like this porno I watched awhile ago x Livvie Locke: LMAO
Who says, Jedi powers are fiction?
Charles Lee 12:55am, January 07, 2006 [Edit] [Delete]	SugarVenom69: uses the force to get you to post DassalaSky5: Typing! SugarVenom69: Damn, this shit really works. LOL I'm sure Palpatine would look down at me and say as if he has to take this overly huge dump. "The force is stroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong with you!"

Soap Star 4:02am, January 18, 2006 [Edit] [Delete]	You ever wonder if Trouble and I are as nuts ooc as we are IC? Well this is proof. x Livvie Locke: http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1058 Trouble: he (satan) needs a damn woman Trouble: and ont his crazy narfing exwife x Livvie Locke: Well after he (satan) and I divorced, he hasn't been the same Trouble: LMAO Trouble: hehehe x Livvie Locke: You know how it is, once I date a man, I ruin them for all others Trouble: Is that where you collection of testicles comes from? x Livvie Locke: How did you guess? x Livvie Locke: I call them my insurance policy Trouble: HA i knew it. Because....rips off maskI'M A MAN BABY x Livvie Locke: What? falls to her knees NO! x Livvie Locke: But...those amazing two hours in the hot tub! Trouble: I can't reveal the details but, the federal government has equipped me with parts for various occasions. I keep my penis in my purse for emergencies. x Livvie Locke: What about the testicles? You are going to ruin my rep here! Trouble: I won't tell as long as you don't blow my cover. Trouble: And I must insist on a handjob on demand. It's only fair. x Livvie Locke: I want those testicles though Trouble: Maybe you can have one. I don't always need both x Livvie Locke: sighs Well if I have to. Can I at least wear opera gloves? x Livvie Locke: I will take the one Trouble: Velvet opera gloves. make them green ones. x Livvie Locke: Now you are just being picky, bitch Trouble: Damn right. You want a ball you gotta play ball. Trouble: HA made a pun x Livvie Locke: Maybe I don't want your shriveled hairless rocky mtn oyster then! Trouble: You know you do. x Livvie Locke: NO! turns away, covering her face never! Trouble: it's soft and comes pre-freshened. x Livvie Locke: Really? turns back slightly New car scent? Trouble: Even better, Summer Rainy meadow x Livvie Locke: Eww...wrinkles nose up That is the whole wrong scent for testicle

Soap Star 7:46pm, February 16, 2006 [Edit] [Delete]	This is going up because Mike made me cry laughing x Livvie Locke: I return to you, a changed bee xCaleb Morleyx: Just don't sneeze on me x Livvie Locke: I took my nasonex. I just want to pollenate you, baby x Livvie Locke: Open up those petals and let me see your stamen! x Livvie Locke: Or you packing a pistil under there? xCaleb Morleyx: You're about to root wad me, babe. x Livvie Locke: Oh honey, you got my sepals all a twitter now xCaleb Morleyx: My sap is hot and my suckers are running, darlin'. x Livvie Locke: Oh hell, you win. I am crying laughing.

Soap Star 7:17am, February 25, 2006 [Edit] [Delete]	x Livvie Locke: Well hey, let me be your agent Scottish Sith: I dunnoooooo... Scottish Sith: S'tough job. x Livvie Locke: I think I could handle it Scottish Sith: and run St. Solanus and be everyone in St. Solanus' rp-partner? Scottish Sith: I think not! x Livvie Locke: You also forgot one fly ass nigga too. Scottish Sith: Oh yes, can't forget how much you're a ass-flying nigga.

Soap Star 3:46am, February 28, 2006 [Edit] [Delete]	Yeeeeah! Whaaat? Let's get crunk! x Livvie Locke: Dude, how much weed you smoking? Fluffer: None if I was I'd be SO passed out like a mofo x Livvie Locke: Mmm, me too Fluffer: Yeah that would be some serious napping x Livvie Locke: NAPPIN'! x Livvie Locke: I be rappin'! x Livvie Locke: Your lips be flappin' x Livvie Locke: Your ass I be slappin' Fluffer: Hehehe x Livvie Locke: I just totally freestyled it right there Fluffer: You are going to be a huge star. Call it Southwestern Crunk and I'll be your weirdly silent middle finger pointing sidekick

Soap Star 4:54am, May 01, 2006 [Edit] [Delete]	When I can get Mike to crack up out of his chair, its a good night. x Livvie Locke: Will you adopt me? My initials don't even have to change xCaleb Morleyx: I'm too poor to adopt. L x Livvie Locke: I am free x Livvie Locke: To a good home x Livvie Locke: Look how cute I am: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/images/peanutprincess.jpg xCaleb Morleyx: You're a pommeranian....hell no x Livvie Locke: I am a Peanut Princess! x Livvie Locke: I don't eat much. And I am box trained xCaleb Morleyx: Nope..no Poms in this house x Livvie Locke: sniffles. Looks adorable x Livvie Locke: You are a breedist xCaleb Morleyx: Haven't met a pom yet that wasn't demon possesed. x Livvie Locke: is demon possessed but has a soul! x Livvie Locke: a soul! Please! x Livvie Locke: D will take me in. I know she will! xCaleb Morleyx: Not a Pom..she's had bad experiences with your kind too. x Livvie Locke: I HAVE A SOUL! xCaleb Morleyx: Suuure x Livvie Locke: I do! I send you nice things, don't I? xCaleb Morleyx: And next gonna try and tell me you vanquish the evil and save the innocents. x Livvie Locke: I spend most of my free time making DVDs for you. x Livvie Locke: I search stacks in used bookstores for comics for you xCaleb Morleyx: But you are a Pom...now if you were a Weiner dog we might talk x Livvie Locke: I have some Wiener in me...you know...when my husband is home. LOL
We like random
Soap Star 3:56am, August 16, 2006 [Edit] [Delete]	x Livvie Locke: Why was Cibo Matto not more famous? Fluffer: Because America is teh suck x Livvie Locke: I love them so much x Livvie Locke: I mean, they covered Nirvana! Fluffer: Me too. Almost as much as I love Shonen Knife x Livvie Locke: Haven't heard them Fluffer: I lurve them x Livvie Locke: GLORIA! Fluffer: I THINK THEY GOT YOUR NUMBA Fluffer: I THINK THEY GOT YA AREA
Zips, me, and panties
Soap Star 11:02pm, July 01, 2008 [Edit] [Delete]	Zippy: Yes, though I am quite worried about him. Um. Have you SEEN him lately? He's uh... he's lookin' like a junkie. Kelly: He has this weird frosted hair thing too Kelly: I just saw a pic of him like 5 minutes ago with the new gf Zippy: Oh god, for a movie? The hair for a movie? You KNOW his hair is a direct link to the quality of the movie... Kelly: I am not sure. Let me check Kelly: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v661/sybille/article-1030817-01CF26B300000578-28.jpg It was out with his new gf Zippy: Damn. Uh. His gf's not as hot as I expected.... Kelly: She is kind of plain Zippy: Maybe he IS on drugs... Kelly: But you see the hair? Kelly: And jesus christ, put laces in your shoes! Zippy: I see the hair but are you sure that's not just like... grey? Kelly: At his age? Zippy: God, someone get him clothes NOT out of the dumpster. And shoot, my dad went grey in HS. It's possible. Kelly: I know. He looks like his shops at Goodwill only Zippy: (narf!) that. Goodwill's got better shit than that! Zippy: He looks like he shops in my brother's room... Kelly: LMAO Zippy: If he does, I've totally been missing his visits. Goddamn my work schedule! Kelly: He comes on Sat when you are at work all day. You would have caught him if you hadn't watched the Village instead Zippy: ...I thought my underwear drawer was tampered with when I got home but I was too tired to question it... Kelly: Well, he wasn't exactly stealing your panties from THERE Zippy: LMAO Well then they weren't mine! I'd thrown the rest of my clothes in the washer before I left! Zippy: Poor Colin needs penicillin now. Kelly: Oh man, he is going to be pissed off. And he always needed peni Zippy: He should know better. I'm not exactly a goth Hello Kitty kind of girl here! Zippy: Unless he somehow managed to steal the panties I was WEARING in which case.. Wow. Well played, Mr. Farrell. Kelly: Well, were you missing panties when you came home? Because Mr. Farrell is an expert panty snatcher. Zippy: I honestly can't remember! I just came home and showered. That's a stumper, man. If managed that feat, I can almost forgive the homeless junkie look. That takes mad dexterity. Kelly: I would do a panty count. Zippy: Makes me feel a little three of clubsy just thinkin' about it. sigh Kelly: I would have thought it made you tingly in your bathing suit area. Zippy: I have invented my own slang now, woman. lol Kelly: Oh okay. So when you feel three of clubsy, it means tingly in the bathing suit area? Kelly: Just so I can use it properly Zippy: Yes! They are totally equivalent.
Twilight Series, Abridged.
Zippy 6:32pm, October 17, 2008 [Edit] [Delete]	Kelly: Why do I put up with the abuse? Jen: It's my boobies. They draw you in. Like Edward's topaz-no, black- no, topaz! eeeeeeeyes. Kelly: turns away Nooooo! I hate you! I mean love you! No definitely hate. Jen: Don't MAKE me sparkle, woman! Kelly: Then you'd be irrestible, even if you were mean to me in biology Jen: I totally just imagined myself walking around with glittery pasties. Baby! I'm only mean because I love you! And I wanna KILL YOU! But I totally love you cause you smell reel gud. Kelly: I smell awesome! sniffs armpits I use Secret! Jen: Oh no, no please! Put your arm down. I can't resist that scent! Kelly: keeps it up and blows on it, in your direction Powder fresh! Jen: growls! Because that's whatcha do. No, stop. Please stop! I might hurt you and I love you too much. Because wanting to murder you in a swift bloody way is the exact! same! thing! as eternal snuggly devotion! Kelly: lowers her arm I'm back to hating you again. Jen: I wish I could tell you I knew you didn't because I could read your mind but I can't so I'm just going to sit here and flex while ignoring you. Brood, flex, flex. Kelly: I'm suddenly obsessed with you! jumps into your lap I'm so mysterious and beautiful because I'm from Phoenix. Jen: Touchy feely, grabs your ass. Sorry! I was just checking to make sure I could resist! I'm so mysterious and beautiful because I am mysterious and beautiful! Kelly: I'm dazzled Kelly: I'm be-dazzled, so I can sparkle too Jen: NO! I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO SPARKLE LIKE ME! It's too damnable an existance! Kelly: FINE! I will not even do what you say. In fact, I will do the opposite Jen: Well, FINE! If that's how you want to play! I order you to... to... NOT take your top off! Kelly: Oh noes! My poor brain!

X 5:02am, December 09, 2008 [Edit] [Delete]	x Livvie Locke: Well, I got you a lot of junk. LOL Impromp2Baby: LOL Maybe I collect junk, then! Actually, if anything, that is what I collect. x Livvie Locke: Junk is good Impromp2Baby: Well, sorta. "Modern" and "minimalist" will never be coined as my decorating style. x Livvie Locke: Me either. Crazy trashlady from Labyrinth is my style Impromp2Baby: Hell yeah, man! x Livvie Locke: You haven't seen my room. Its piles Impromp2Baby: Mmm. I guess I'm more like "That retard yuppie who thinks they're fooling anyone into thinking they're well traveled by buying crap at World Market"
Decisions, decisions!
Zippy 7:32pm, December 09, 2008 [Edit] [Delete]	Kelly: So many buttplugs to chose from!

X 4:45am, December 15, 2008 [Edit] [Delete]	Zippy: I should make up a 'punk universe. Lessee... Dairypunk. Milkmaid chic is the dress code, and furniture's all upholstered in cowprint... Edited 4:49pm, April 27, 2009 by X, author.
Freud's a bitch.
Zippy 9:23pm, April 26, 2009 [Edit] [Delete]	thecrowsraven: Wow Ghost hunters is the only show I know that has a mid season finally-and yes my rp sucks thecrowsraven: er thecrowsraven: typing thecrowsraven: sucks
A new shower product
Personal Trainer 8:06pm, May 11, 2009 [Edit] [Delete]	A New Shower Product by AL/Avon...called BATSHIT! sugarvenom69 (2:57:57 PM): You guys and your 'BATSHIT' references. I'm not sure what ya'll mean, but it cracks me up lol zia 62939 (2:58:22 PM): It's a beautiful word... let it wash over you L sugarvenom69 (3:00:00 PM): Let Batshit wash over me? sugarvenom69 (3:00:02 PM): LOL zia 62939 (3:00:17 PM): If that's what it has to do... snort

X 3:16am, May 13, 2009 [Edit] [Delete]	AL: girl gotta have a codegoal. Kelly: Well yeah, that is your part in this A-Team Kelly: Jen is "distract with boobies" Kelly: I am the "wise-cracking nutter" AL: LOL I'm glad we've got titles! AL: And soon... van! Kelly: I've got the van already Kelly: It's blue and says "Lally Electronics" on the side but we can totally paint over that with unicorns and stuff. Kelly: Shannon needs to be our "blowing shit up expert" AL: Maybe just one side-- so we can sometimes hide in plain sight... and SO YES... Blowing Shit Up needs to happen EVERY MISSION beginning or end. Kelly: Unicorns are totally kick ass though! AL: They are! On one side and the hood... unicorns with sparkling sparkles and maybe uh, sund! AL: suns! Kelly: Okay, I will agree to that AL: I'm verklempt just thinking about it. Will be awesome! Kelly: wait until you see our ass kicking suits AL: Suits! Sheeyit... you got hour Hannibal on hardcore! Kelly: flexes Hey, I can make the suits. It's my special talent. I make us our disguises Kelly: Shannon makes the wigs Kelly: Jen does the makeup Kelly: You write the personalities and back stories AL: Ooohh, yeah, I'll make us all sound good! Or bad at need. Comprehensive tables of quirks and flaws! L Kelly: I think we can do better than sleeveless priests ala SPN AL: I'm sorry-- I don't know if that can be! Sometimes that is perfect! L Kelly: Come on. We are way more awesome in the disguise department. All girl rock band. All girl veternarians slash bikers. What about all girl rock climbing vegan slaughterhouse workers? Kelly: I already have the costumes in mind AL: Those are good.... I like All Woman Men's Liberation Group-- We're Women, freeing Men, to act like Women... There's gotta be fake tats and jewelery. Kelly: Oooh, I really love that one. I am on it right away
Cause girls are geeks too!
X 9:11pm, May 15, 2009 [Edit] [Delete]	To AL: x Livvie Locke: I'm totally going to give up and turn into Kelly the Hutt. LOL x Livvie Locke: I will have my own little Salicious Crumb and keep Zips at my side in a gold bikini zia 62939: Sometimes it's hard to not just say fuckit. I swear. L And that is SOO HAWT. To Zips: x Livvie Locke: Btw, I'm giving up to become a Hutt. You will be my gold bikini girl Impromp2Baby: Oh, sweet. 15 year old boys around the world will jackoff to my poster and wish they were you! x Livvie Locke: Pretty much. I'm getting my own Salicious Crumb too Impromp2Baby: Aaaawesooooome. Impromp2Baby: I want my own Frozen Han, though. Or I'll take Boba Fett. x Livvie Locke: You can have Boba Fett. Frozen Han is mine too x Livvie Locke: I AM HUTT! Impromp2Baby: Right, right... yeah. Okay. I wanted Fett more anyway. x Livvie Locke: I know you did. LOL

X 5:01am, May 24, 2009 [Edit] [Delete]	x Livvie Locke: So is sam getting all up in Kezia's special sauce now? Impromp2Baby: No, but he's getting to pat the bun. x Livvie Locke: The way I interpreted that is that Kezia is going to let him put it where? IN DA BUTT! Impromp2Baby: LOL Of COURSE you did. Jesus. x Livvie Locke: How else was supposed to take it? Bun, butt, it works! x Livvie Locke: You need to be more clear in the metaphors! Impromp2Baby: You're just dirdy. x Livvie Locke: Okay, so what does patting the bun mean? Impromp2Baby: Oh, I totally just meant he gets over-clothes touching. LOL x Livvie Locke: Mine was so much better! x Livvie Locke: And jeeze, he already popped that cherry. She should let him visit happytown. Not like she can get knocked up AGAIN Impromp2Baby: Mine was better! Hush! It was like fully metaphorically LAYERED! Ahh, the complicated life of a prude. x Livvie Locke: I meant my interpt. x Livvie Locke: Wait until those hormones kick in and she gets SUPAHORNY! Impromp2Baby: I know. I meant MINE. x Livvie Locke: She is going to be taking his pickle with or without mayo! Impromp2Baby: She probably wouldn't know horny if it kick her with a fish. x Livvie Locke: Oh sure, cause when she rubbing her fish taco on couch arms, she totally won't know what it is. LOL Impromp2Baby: She very well might think she is DYING. Gypsies don't do sex ed well. L x Livvie Locke: Oh god, now that is an episode I want to see. "Doctor, help me! I have this tingling in my lady parts! I think it might be a rash because it feels better when i rub it!" Impromp2Baby: Dude... poor girl. Horny would SO lead to some unfortunate inquiries. x Livvie Locke: I am seriously laughing so hard over this Impromp2Baby: I promise you that scene in some form!
More Geek
Audience Liaison 9:17pm, May 24, 2009 [Edit] [Delete]	Been too long since I've contributed... (10:31:49 PM) zia62939 V needs to fear the dice. They are not liking her this week. (10:32:08 PM) impromp2baby LOL Everyone has anti-dice weeks! (10:33:28 PM) zia62939 I have had them... and yet I keep rolling, because I am a random addict. I need a d12 step program.

Soap Star 4:42am, June 17, 2009 [Edit] [Delete]	x Livvie Locke: I think I might change the word sperm in the chat to rainbows zia 62939: Let's zia 62939: Or whatever the proper term/verb answer to that is. Make is so, captain. zia 62939: felt so riker there x Livvie Locke: sperm is now rainbow. LOL zia 62939: I think that's beautiful... and I'm all visual on it. x Livvie Locke: For Spencer shooting rainbows out his penis? zia 62939: Anyone... I'm imagining the men of st Solanus all Care Bear style lined up to fight the Grumpies with their Peenbows. x Livvie Locke: Oh shit, now I went visual. LOL zia 62939: Yeah... soak it in. zia 62939: It won't go away fast. x Livvie Locke: Soak in the rainbow sperm eh? zia 62939: LMFAO
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