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Thread for Best Chat Lines
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Livvie Locke
7:40pm, July 10, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | So pretty self-explanatory here. If you see something that is funny or poignant or something that happened in the chat, just post it here. It will make it easier for our next round of Emmys. (I had to start it because the Mulder char had some doozies. Here are a couple of my fave)
Mulder: (internal monologue) His gut told him this was a strange place....might be the pizza he had for dinner also..
Stephen Clay: (in reference to Mulder flashing his badge) Oh, what a shiney thing.
Mulder: (after Stephen gives him a 'go to Hell' look) My drinks are on him....don't mind the look.He just found out I didn't feed his fish while he was on tour and so he is a bit pissy.
Jennifer Sampson: (about Dr. Solanus) I wouldn't throw him outta bed for eating crackers, if that is what you mean.
Mulder: (about St. Solanus) I finally found a town full of people so paranoid they even make me seem mild mannered. This place has more paranormal activity then a star trek convention in Dallas on Saturday night.
Zachery Slater: (internal monologue) *You think he's so callous he'd do that? Good grief. You damn right he would.*
Stephen Clay: (internal monologue) *Finds one other item, okay, he has to get for himself and does.*
Livvie Locke: (internal monologue) *strawberry flavored edible speedo?*
Dr. Eric Solanus (to Camille about Lily's infidelty) Hell if I know, mother. What, you wanted me to video tape it?
(All out of character but still amusing)
Hope Gavilian: ((*dies, leaving her corpse to fall on Stephen's throne. Bleeds all over it...ruins the crushed velvet*))
Hope Gavilian: ((*and crushes his burger king crown where "burger" is crossed out and "vampire" is written in with a black crayon*))
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Agent Mulder
6:46pm, July 14, 2004
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[Delete] | Aaron Matthews: I'm now an angel. *Raises a brow at Mulder.* A guardian angel and I work for a top secret organization connected to the Catholic Church.
Agent Fox Mulder : Thats makes perfect sense.An angel working for one of the worlds biggest religious fronts.....a church that not only gets you to sign your life saving and soul to them but offers God in exchange.The same people that condem you if you leave the church and have issues with preist giving candy and gum to alter boys in exchange for playing "Hail Marry"*his eyes upon the man still as he shakes his head*
Aaron Matthews: Oh, man, you are nutter then that story I just gave you |
| hahahaha |
Hope Gavilian
4:00am, July 26, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | Just cause it made me laugh so much...
(To Kendall Hart after a failed seduction attempt in his office)
Stephen Clay: *Raises his hand to start to touch her cheek. His face moves closer to hers, lips come close then he grins.* When hell freezes over. *Has her arm and puts her out, closing the door behind her.*
Edited 11:18pm, July 25 by Hope Gavilian, author. |
| more funnys |
Livvie Locke
5:54pm, August 14, 2004
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[Delete] | (in reference to the new and improved "nice" Livvie)
Kendall Hart : *A look of confusion passes over her face, she turns toward Stephen.* What's the deal? Are you keeping her drugged up or something?
Stephen Clay : I don't know what's wrong. *sighs and says in a low tone most to himself.*
Kendall Hart : Well, whatever it is, you'd better get it fixed. I think I like her less now.
Kendall Hart : *Wears hot pink occasionally, but at least the clothes are /sexy!/*
Stephen Clay : *Needs to try living with it. Muffins, she's baking goddamn muffins!* |
| Kendall Hart and Stephen Clay |
Stephen Clay
2:45am, September 25, 2004
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[Delete] | Kendall Hart : What, can't read my mind?
Stephen Clay : Its a short read. |
| John |
Livvie Locke
10:30pm, October 03, 2004
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[Delete] | (in reference to Dylan...jailbait it seems)
ab2ff, John Jessups : he leans on the bar, drinks his beet and looks to dylan, his cool blue eyes looking her over slowly, grrr likes what he sees, but she does look a little young, damn he just got out of the joint, no need to go back this fast*
(just another funny line)
ab2ff, John Jessups : he looks to her * well I guess if I am bodyguard I might need to know where it is* he says as he sits up as stretches, giving the ladies at home a good shot of those muscles, yeah you know he's the future sexiest male, and looks back at her*
Edited 9:48pm, October 03 by Livvie Locke, author. |
| Gave me a giggle |
Livvie Locke
2:57am, October 06, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | 718d6, Mike Lawrence : *indeed it is! besides, it places him with the main action of tonight's episode of.... St Solanus*
718d6, Mike Lawrence : *grabs his personal belongings from his own desk, loads them into the car, and is outta there like a drag queen on his way to a shoe and lingerie sale!*
Edited 1:17pm, October 06 by Livvie Locke, author. |
| Flashback! |
Rosaline Vickson
2:57am, October 06, 2004
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[Delete] | During a flashback with Justine Brooks and her long lost dead love guy, Jacob....
c7043, Dr. Justine Brooks : *she laughs, pushing a hand against his shoulder playfully* Oh my god, Jacob...you know that is so not how its suppose to be done. You want me to say yes, you better give me the whole surprise with a ring and stuff. *she chuckles softly, feeling much better now. She was merely teasing him. She wouldn't have poured her heart out there if she didn't want to marry him*
daaf7, Jacob Lawson : You might have to settle for something out of a vending machine for now. *Chuckles.*
Edited 9:58pm, October 05 by Rosaline Vickson, author. |
| Only These 2 Can Talk to Each Other Like This |
Dr. Eric Solanus
4:13pm, November 06, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | [05-16:19] 4f4, Dr. Eric Solanus : *Walks into the Bliss seeing Jon. When he steps up he sees whats in front of him that he's eating.* Another cholesterol is my friend meal?
[05-16:23] dbe, •Jonathan Montgomery : *he chuckles as he hears Eric's voice* If it hasn't killed me yet, it probably won't. Besides...I hate cows. I am doing my part
[05-16:25] 4f4, Dr. Eric Solanus : Yet is the operative word there.
05-16:26] dbe, •Jonathan Montgomery : *he snorts, taking another swallow of beer before he speaks* If my heart gives out, you can just get me a new one. Not worried. Its called a perk
[05-16:29] dbe, •Jonathan Montgomery : You sober your ass up or am I going to have to bail you out this weekend? *he raises a brow, looking over at Eric* I got plans this weekend
05-16:30] 4f4, Dr. Eric Solanus : *Leans on the bar.* My perk.
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| Another Peek into Male Bonding |
Dr. Eric Solanus
4:21pm, November 06, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | [05-16:33] dbe, •Jonathan Montgomery : Hey...I will get you off on trumped up murder charges. But you get another drunk and disorderly, you are on your own. This friendship can only have one alcoholic and I claimed it when we were sixteen
05-16:35] 4f4, Dr. Eric Solanus : Sixteen? I thought it was when you were still sucking the bottle at 2. One reason you didn't want to give it up.
[05-16:37] dbe, •Jonathan Montgomery : *he chuckles* Oh hell no...I was still breastfeeding at two. Love me some tits and ass. *at least he was being totally honest. Say his name at the strip club and they know EXACTLY who you are talking about. Grabby Hands Montgomery*
[05-16:41] 4f4, Dr. Eric Solanus : So, how's the Shelby treating you?
[05-16:41] dbe, •Jonathan Montgomery : I think you and me should get us some ladies of the night this weekend, head over to that new casino, and blow your retirement fund on blackjack, whiskey, and cigars. *and again, totally serious here*
[05-16:42] dbe, •Jonathan Montgomery : Freaking fantastic man. She handles the curves like a thirteen year old virgin...nice and tight.
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| Caught on Casino Security Recordings |
Zachery Slater
4:26pm, November 06, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | [06-00:54] c84, •Jonathan Montgomery : Oh...its not for me. I like my women with something I can hold onto. *he hasn't really put his hands on her yet so no harassment charges against him just yet.* But hey, you don't want to make a rich doctor happy, its your loss, cupcake.
[06-00:54] 725, Kendall Hart : You might have better luck picking up a woman ifyou tried the red light district.
[06-00:55] c84, •Jonathan Montgomery : *he chuckles, leaning forward, lowering his voice just for her* I thought I was.
[06-00:57] 725, Kendall Hart : *Her expression darkens at that. Oooh, she's livid. She turns, taking up her abandoned glass. Forces herself to take a measured sip. Turns back to Montgomery. And sends the precious liquid straight into his face.*
[06-00:59] c84, •Jonathan Montgomery : *he stumbles back when she throws the drink in his face, reaching blindly for a napkin* Damnit Kendall...why did you have to go and waste perfectly good scotch? There are sober kids in Africa.
Edited 10:30am, November 06 by Zachery Slater, author. |
| Awh man... |
Kendall Hart
2:34am, December 04, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | Sorry... I was amused.
c84, Dr. Justine Brooks : *oh its a pretty loud laugh now as she gets scooped up there by Jacob* HELP! I am being carried off by a monster! *she calls out but it comes out interrupted with lots of giggles*
ac2, Daneel : Nope you are on your own girlfriend.*From the fridge.*I come bearing gifts and I just got a manicure.*And he's not too made up for once. Just wearing a lot of mascara behind his glasses. Little bit of gloss on the lips.*
4e7, Jacob Lawson : GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! |
| LMAO |
Laura Patzig
6:08am, December 15, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | I just started cracking up when I saw this.
ac2, Faith Davis : *Cause she knows she's goin to hell. Been there done that got a scar to prove it bitchnuts. She leans over and takes a pen, writes her stolen cell phone number on a napkin and hands it over.*You wanna let loose Pretty boy give me a call. Maybe if you ask real nice I'll show you what I'm talkin about.*OOooh field trip to the Hell Mouth.*Now I gotta go...if I don't get laid real soon I'm gonna start another fight and this is a new outfit.*She winks at him and gives one of those trademark crooked grins.*Name's Faith by the way.
b31, Trevor Spencer : *bitchnuts?.....is that from the Stifler school of English where you just combine two completely unrelated words to form an insult? Like cock coffin?* |
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Livvie Locke
7:38pm, December 18, 2004
[Edit]
[Delete] | Why do I find this so funny? I am strange
[18-13:35] b1d, Michael Easton : And I don't staple at Kinko's.
[18-13:35] 39b, T: Do you Kinko at Staples?
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Livvie Locke
1:41am, February 09, 2005
[Edit]
[Delete] | *heres th point where the little angel and devil pop up on his shoulders, the angel says, tell the young girl you love her and of course you missed her, the little devil says tell her about paris hilton giving you a lap dance in vegas, john shakes his head* of course I did, well a little anyways
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| Sam's thoughts |
John McBain
3:18pm, April 04, 2005
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[Delete] | Sam McCall: *she chuckles to herself as she sits on the bench, cracking open a beer. In her head, she is imaging John going "NORTON!" thanks to Ken's graceful skill there. Her eyes go between the two of them. She knows trouble when she sees it. Time to pull out and head down the coast tonight once she gets rid of the chachis*
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| Best...audition...EVER |
Soap Star
1:36am, May 03, 2005
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[Delete] |
Jayson Marks:
And for my musical selection, a dainty little piece from the London hit “The Rocky Horror Show. *struts across the stage. Chest out * How do you do? I see you've met my faithful handyman. He's a little brought down because when you knocked, he thought you were the candyman. Don't get strung out by the way that I look. Don't judge a book by its coooooo-ver. I'm not much of a man by the light of day. But by night I'm one hell of a lover! I'm just a sweet Transvestite! From Transeeeeexual, Transalvania. *heads the other direction on stage *
Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound. *whips around to look at no one * You look like you're both pretty groovy. Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal...We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
*stops in his tracks. Speaks the next. Stiff as a board * I'm glad we caught you at home...Ah - could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry. We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car, We don't want to be any worry.
*jumps and spins around. Starts singing again * You got caught with a flat! Well how about that! Well babies...don't you panic. *rolls his hands ala Frank in the RHPS movie* By the light of the night, it'll all seem alright. I'll get you a satanic mechanic! *really goes for it now. Sings his heart out * I'M JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE! *even does the background Sweeet traaaansvesssstite * FROM TRANSEXUAL *long pause * TRANSAAAAAAL-VAAAAANIA *collapses on stage * |
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Producer
3:16am, May 05, 2005
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[Delete] | You won't see this on ER!
Dr. Justine Brooks: If you die in my car, I will pull your soul out of hell and sell it to a Haitian Voodoo man! |
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Baby Wrangler
12:06am, May 18, 2005
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[Delete] |
822, Soap Hunk: I don't have a fat ass. *stands brushing off that nice sexy ass off.*
718, Stage Mother: *helps him brush off said sexy ass*
822, Soap Hunk: *Looks at SM.* Little more to the left, there, babe.
718, Stage Mother: ohh *tries again* That better? ;)
718, Stage Mother: *grumbles* Figures someone with the initials "SM" does the spanking around here... |
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Cole Avery
10:37am, June 04, 2005
[Edit]
[Delete] | 440, Hope Donovan : *Catholicism is a cult. They brain wash you. Jesus this and crucify that and Judas my ass* |
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