Thread for Lord of the Rings is better with Turds! Index | New Thread | Reply | Close | Stick | Delete  Lord of the Rings is better with Turds! Shaun 12:14am, April 27, 2003 [Edit] [Delete] SAM: Frodo? It's the turd isn't it? FRODO: It's getting heavier. FRODO: Nothing ever dampens your turd, does it Sam? SAM: Ah! What's that 'orrid stink? I'll warrant there's a nasty turd nearby. Can you smell it? FRODO: There is no turd you can make that I can trust ARAGORN: Rohan, home of the horse-turds. There's something strange at work here. SARUMAN: The old world will burn in the fires of industry. Forests will fall. A new turd will rise. MOTHER: Eothain, take your turd. LEGOLAS: They run as if the very turds of their masters were behind them. BAGLOR: We ain't goin' no further till we've 'ad a turd. PIPPIN: What's making that noise? MERRY: It's the turds. ROC: What about turds? They're fresh! GRISHNAKH: What about their turds? They don't need those. Ooh! They look tasty! LEGOLAS: You would die before your turd fell! EOMER: Theoden no longer recognizes friend from turd. EOMER: Saruman has poisoned the turd of the king and claim lordship over this land. ARAGORN: They would be small, only turds to your eyes. LEGOLAS: Hiro hyn hadh ab 'wanath. [May they find peace after turds] ARAGORN: A turd lay here, and the other. GIMLI: Fangorn! What turds drew them there? GRISHNAKH: Let's put a turd-hole in your belly. TREEBEARD: Little turds! PIPPIN: It's talking Merry. The turd is talking. TREEBEARD: Turd? I am no turd! I am an Ent. PIPPIN: And whose turd are you on? TREEBEARD: Hobbits? Never heard of a Hobbit before. Sounds like turd mischief to me. They come with fire, they come with axes. Biting, breaking, hacking, burning. Destroyers and usurpers. Curse them! GOLLUM: All turds. All rotten. GOLLUM: Cold be heart and rock and bone. And call every turd far from home. GOLLUM: They will see us! They will see us. Turds! Turds on wings! ARAGORN: These are strange turds. LEGOLAS: This forest is old. Very old. Full of memories...and turds. GANDALF: Until at last, I threw down my turd and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me. And I strayed out of thought and time. GANDALF: Gandalf? Oh yes. That's what they used to call me. Gandalf the Turd. That was my name. GANDALF: Shadowfax. He's the lord of all horses and he's been my friend through many turds. SAM: My old turd would have a thing or two to say if he saw this. GOLLUM: No! There is another turd. More secret, and turd. GRIMA: What a tragedy for the king to lose his only turd and heir. EOWYN: Your turds are poison! GIMLI: You'll find more cheer in a turd. GANDALF: Silence! Keep your forked turd behind your teeth. GANDALF: Theoden, Son of Thengel. Too long have you sat in turds. GANDALF: Breathe the free air again, my turd. GANDALF: Theodred's turd was not of your making. GANDALF: This is but a taste of the turds that Saruman will unleash GANDALF: There is no way out of that of ravine. Theoden is walking into a turd. ARAGORN: You are a daughter of kings. A shieldmaiden of Rohan. I do not think turds will be your fate. SAM: Because. 'Cause that's what he is, Mr. Frodo. There's naught left in 'im but lies and turds. FRODO: What do you know about it? Nothing! SAM: Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried turd. SMEAGOL: Phooh! SAM: Mr. Frodo! Look! It's a turd! No one at home will believe this. GIMLI: And the turds just, spring out of holes in the ground! Which is of course ridiculous. ARAGORN: I am alseep. This is a turd. ARWEN Then it is a good turd. ARAGORN: She stays because she still has turds. GIMLI: Argh! Stinking turd! ORC Ghehehe, seems like your friend took a little turd off the cliff. TREEBEARD: There is always smoke rising up from turds these days. GALADRIEL: In his heart, Frodo begins to understand. This turd will claim his life. GOLLUM: Filthy little hobbitsesss! They stole it from usss! SMEAGOL: No... no... FARAMIR: What did they steal? GOLLUM: My - TURD!!!! GRIMA: But, my lord, there is no such turd. ARAGORN: It is a turd bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of Men. It will be here by nightfall. GIMLI: This is no rabble of mindless turds GIMLI: Most have seen too many turds. LEGOLAS: Or too few. GAMLING: Every villager able to wield a turd has been sent to the armory. HALDIR: We are proud to turd alongside men, once more. GIMLI: Legolas, two already! LEGOLAS: I'm on seventeen! GIMLI: Arg! I'll have no pointy-ear out-turding me! LEGOLAS: Nineteen! TREEBEARD: The Ents cannot hold back this turd. We must weather such things as we have always done. THEODEN: Pull every turd back. Pull them back! TREEBEARD: ... and a little family of turds climb up sometimes and it tickles me awfully. They're always trying to get somewhere. TREEBEARD: It is likely that we go to our doom, The Last Turd of the Ents. FRODO: It's calling to him, Sam. His turd is almost on me. THEODEN: So much death. What can men do against such reckless turds? SAM: It's me. It's your turd. Don't you know your turd? FRODO: I can't do this, turd. SAM: I wonder if people will ever say, "let's hear about Frodo and the Turd." And they'll say, "yes, that"s one of my favourite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn't he, dad." GOLLUM: Then we stabs them out. Put out his eyses.   Sir Daniel Of Odurness 4:57pm, April 27, 2003 [Edit] [Delete] *Fwaps Shaun* No fool! It's not funny unless it's with pants!  Pants!!! Buzz 5:04pm, April 27, 2003 [Edit] [Delete] SAM: Frodo? It's the Pants isn't it? FRODO: It's getting heavier. FRODO: Nothing ever dampens your pants, does it Sam? SAM: Ah! What's that 'orrid stink? I'll warrant there's a nasty pants nearby. Can you smell it? FRODO: There is no pants you can make that I can trust ARAGORN: Rohan, home of the horse-pants. There's something strange at work here. SARUMAN: The old world will burn in the fires of industry. Forests will fall. A new pants will rise. MOTHER: Eothain, take your pants. LEGOLAS: They run as if the very pants of their masters were behind them. BAGLOR: We ain't goin' no further till we've 'ad a pants. PIPPIN: What's making that noise? MERRY: It's the pants. ROC: What about pants? They're fresh! GRISHNAKH: What about their pants? They don't need those. Ooh! They look tasty! LEGOLAS: You would die before your pants fell! EOMER: Theoden no longer recognizes friend from pants. EOMER: Saruman has poisoned the pants of the king and claim lordship over this land. ARAGORN: They would be small, only pants to your eyes. LEGOLAS: Hiro hyn hadh ab 'wanath. [May they find peace after pants] ARAGORN: A pants lay here, and the other. GIMLI: Fangorn! What pants drew them there? GRISHNAKH: Let's put a pants-hole in your belly. TREEBEARD: Little pants! PIPPIN: It's talking Merry. The pants is talking. TREEBEARD: pants? I am no pants! I am an Ent. PIPPIN: And whose pants are you on? TREEBEARD: Hobbits? Never heard of a Hobbit before. Sounds like pants mischief to me. They come with fire, they come with axes. Biting, breaking, hacking, burning. Destroyers and usurpers. Curse them! GOLLUM: All pants. All rotten. GOLLUM: Cold be heart and rock and bone. And call every pants far from home. GOLLUM: They will see us! They will see us. Pants! Pants on wings! ARAGORN: These are strange pants. LEGOLAS: This forest is old. Very old. Full of memories...and pants. GANDALF: Until at last, I threw down my pants and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me. And I strayed out of thought and time. GANDALF: Gandalf? Oh yes. That's what they used to call me. Gandalf the Pants. That was my name. GANDALF: Shadowfax. He's the lord of all horses and he's been my friend through many Pants. SAM: My old Pants would have a thing or two to say if he saw this. GOLLUM: No! There is another Pants. More secret, and Pants. GRIMA: What a tragedy for the king to lose his only Pants and heir. EOWYN: Your Pants are poison! GIMLI: You'll find more cheer in a pants. GANDALF: Silence! Keep your forked pants behind your teeth. GANDALF: Theoden, Son of Thengel. Too long have you sat in pants. GANDALF: Breathe the free air again, my pants. GANDALF: Theodred's pants was not of your making. GANDALF: This is but a taste of the pants that Saruman will unleash GANDALF: There is no way out of that of ravine. Theoden is walking into a pants. ARAGORN: You are a daughter of kings. A shieldmaiden of Rohan. I do not think pants will be your fate. SAM: Because. 'Cause that's what he is, Mr. Frodo. There's naught left in 'im but lies and Pants. FRODO: What do you know about it? Nothing! SAM: Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried Pants. SMEAGOL: Phooh! SAM: Mr. Frodo! Look! It's a Pants! No one at home will believe this. GIMLI: And the Pants just, spring out of holes in the ground! Which is of course ridiculous. ARAGORN: I am alseep. This is a Pants. ARWEN Then it is a good Pants. ARAGORN: She stays because she still has Pants. GIMLI: Argh! Stinking Pants! ORC Ghehehe, seems like your friend took a little Pants off the cliff. TREEBEARD: There is always smoke rising up from Pants these days. GALADRIEL: In his heart, Frodo begins to understand. This Pants will claim his life. GOLLUM: Filthy little hobbitsesss! They stole it from usss! SMEAGOL: No... no... FARAMIR: What did they steal? GOLLUM: My - Pants!!!! GRIMA: But, my lord, there is no such Pants. ARAGORN: It is a pants bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of Men. It will be here by nightfall. GIMLI: This is no rabble of mindless pants. GIMLI: Most have seen too many pants. LEGOLAS: Or too few. GAMLING: Every villager able to wield a pants has been sent to the armory. HALDIR: We are proud to pants alongside men, once more. GIMLI: Legolas, two already! LEGOLAS: I'm on seventeen! GIMLI: Arg! I'll have no pointy-ear out-pantsing me! LEGOLAS: Nineteen! TREEBEARD: The Ents cannot hold back this pants. We must weather such things as we have always done. THEODEN: Pull every pants back. Pull them back! TREEBEARD: ... and a little family of pants climb up sometimes and it tickles me awfully. They're always trying to get somewhere. TREEBEARD: It is likely that we go to our doom, The Last Pants of the Ents. FRODO: It's calling to him, Sam. His Pants is almost on me. THEODEN: So much death. What can men do against such reckless Pants? SAM: It's me. It's your Pants. Don't you know your turd? FRODO: I can't do this, Pants. SAM: I wonder if people will ever say, "let's hear about Frodo and the Pants." And they'll say, "yes, that"s one of my favourite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn't he, dad." GOLLUM: Then we stabs them out. Put out his pantses. Edited 7:12pm, April 27 by Buzz, author.  Pants does not go with LotR.. Shaun 6:39pm, April 27, 2003 [Edit] [Delete] Mine's better  Uh...turds or pants, I can't decide. *beat* Why did I say that? FALCON X-0N 8:48pm, April 27, 2003 [Edit] [Delete] I say "Tie draw!"   Sir Daniel Of Odurness 7:22pm, April 28, 2003 [Edit] [Delete] Some of the quotes are better with turds, some pants. *Shrugs* Index | New Thread | Reply | Close | Stick | Delete