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News News News!
4:17pm, September 29, 2007
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[Delete] | Breaking news! Earlier today it was reported that there was a series of murders at a local Mos Eisley tavern; nothing out of the unusual. However, our station has recently come into information that even the most hard-hearted viewers are certain to find squeemish.
Last night, at aproximately midnight, everyone in the Cantina in fifth and waters was murdered. Moreso than murdered, eye witness accounts later at the scene described it as "brutal fucking murder," a massacre and bloodbath that defies description. The local sheriff's office is keeping quiet, though our sources tell us this was done by only four people, and none of them used any type of weapon. Bodies were found ripped appart, and blood- -both human and alien- -was used to paint obscene messages all over the walls.
While the droids busily went to work cleaning the bar as soon as the investigation was over, the stigma of these murders remain, and have put even a city known for it's villainy on edge...
This is Bob Vrweeenak!!!!! reporting for channel 8 news. Remember if it's not channel six, then it's not sick sick sick! |
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